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Thread: A Joke...

  1. #1

    • Darkbeer
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    A Joke...

    A man walked into a quiet bar

    He carried three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left arm.
    He placed them one beside the other upon the bar.
    He had a few drinks and chatted with the bartender.
    The bartender was experienced and had learned not to ask people about the animals that they bring into the bar, so he didn't mention the ducks.

    They chatted for about another 30 minutes before the man with the ducks had to go to the restroom.
    He left the ducks there on the bar.
    The bartender was alone with the ducks.
    There was an awkward silence as they all looked at one another.

    The bartender decided to break the ice and try to make a little conversation.
    "Say, what's your name?" he asked the first duck.
    "Huey," replied the first duck.
    "How's your day been, Huey?"
    "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day! What else could a duck want?" commented the duck.

    "Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. Then he said to the second duck, "Hi. And what's your name?"

    "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two.
    "So how's your day been, Dewey?" he asked.
    "Great. Lovely day. I had a ball too! Been in and out of puddles all day myself. If I had the chance another day I would do the same again!" said the duck in reply.

    So the bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie!?"

    "No," growls the third duck, "my name is Puddles. And don't even ask what kind of day I've had!"
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  2. #2

    • Nice Guy
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    what a quack up!
    >>Alan<<
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  3. #3

    • Minion
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    Good one, Darkbeer!

    Mind if I add a couple more?

    Bear walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a gin............................................... .................................................. .................................................. .......and tonic."
    Bartender says, "Sure, but why the long pause?"
    Bear holds up its paws and says, "Cause I'm a bear!"


    Beaver with bad teeth walks into a bar and says, "Hey, where's the bar tender?'

  4. #4

    • I am a Pluto lover
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    that was funny
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






  5. #5

    • I am a Pluto lover
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pacha
    Beaver with bad teeth walks into a bar and says, "Hey, where's the bar tender?'

    Then what?
    Mellymouse




    (do you think the Finding Nemo Subs line will be under 3 hours by then?)






  6. #6

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    A bear is chasing a rabbitt throught the woods and they come across a magic frog. The frog stops them and says..."Hey, I'm a magic frog and I want to grant each of you three wishes." The bear and rabbitt smile and say sure. The bear goes first and says," My first wish is that all the bears in these woods were female and I was the only male." The frog smiles, nods his head and says, it is done. He looks to the rabbitt. The rabbitt smiles and says," I wish for a motorcycle helmet." The frog looks at the rabbitt questionally and nods and a motorcycle helmet appears on the rabbitt's head. The bear gets real excited knowing that this is really true and says, "Ok, I wish that all the bears in the forest next to us were female too and I was the only male." The frog smiles and nods and says it is done. The rabbitt says, "I wish for a motorcylce" The frog nods and a motorcycle appears. The bear says, "For my last wish I wish that ALL the bears around the world were female and I was the only male!!" The frog nods and says it is done. The rabbitt then gets on the motorcycle and starts to gun it. As he starts to take off he hollers, "My last wish is that this bear was gay!!!!"
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  7. #7

    • there's always my way...
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    ^ LMAO!!!

    A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. "How did you end up with the peg leg?" he asks.
    The pirate replies, "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

    "Wow!" says the seaman. "What about your hook?"

    "Well," answers the pirate, "we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand."

    "Incredible!" says the seaman. "How’d you get the eye patch?"

    "A sea gull $h!t in my eye," the pirate replies.

    "You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the seaman asks.

    "Well," says the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook."
    Last edited by Mr.DooDah; 06-04-2005 at 08:38 PM.
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  8. #8

    • Minion
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    Quote Originally Posted by MellyMouse
    Then what?
    What do beavers normally eat? What are bars normally made of? Get it?

  9. #9

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    Fratsor Sister - Delta Mu Chi Alpha

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  10. #10

    • there's always my way...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pacha
    What do beavers normally eat? What are bars normally made of? Get it?
    That was classic.... LOL
    i dont get it...
    Come to the dark side,
    we have cookies.

  11. #11

    • ...the legend
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pacha
    What do beavers normally eat? What are bars normally made of? Get it?
    geez, I still don't get it.....:confused:
    I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.
    That explains the trouble that I'm always in...

  12. #12

    • Smells like beer
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    Michael Jackson and Tanya Harding bought a horse racing track together. Tanya's doin the handicapping and Michael's riding the 3 years olds.
    I find it hard
    It's hard to find
    Oh well, whatever, nevermind

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by LightBeer
    Michael Jackson and Tanya Harding bought a horse racing track together. Tanya's doin the handicapping and Michael's riding the 3 years olds.
    This guy is telling his buddy about his new voice ativated satalite radio station for the car. "It's amazing, I just say Rock and Roll out loud and it starts playing rock and roll. I say hip hop and it starts playing hip hop and this one time these kids ran out in front of the car and I yelled "Fu**ing Kids" and all of the sudden "Thriller" started playing on the radio"
    PirateMunkee

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  14. #14

    • Minion
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.DooDah
    That was classic.... LOL
    i dont get it...
    What the...?

    Are you people serious???
    Take a look at the last two words of the joke:
    Beaver with bad teeth walks into a bar and says, "Hey, where's the bar tender?"
    Not, "Hey, where's the bartender?"

    Get it now???

  15. #15

    • And they call me Mad!
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    oh because the bar is wood so its tender and the termite eats wood and wants the tender part of it....I still dont get it.
    What an idiot....

    Yeah, I do that Twitter thing.


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