I just got this off of SFGate.com...

N.D. Man Wins Annual Bad-Writing Contest
By GARANCE BURKE, Associated Press Writer

Thursday, July 28, 2005 (07-28) 10:38 PDT SAN FRANCISCO, (AP) --

A man who compared a woman's anatomy to a carburetor won an annual contest that celebrates the worst writing in the English language.

Dan McKay, a computer analyst at Microsoft Great Plains in Fargo, N.D., bested thousands of entrants from North Pole, Alaska to Manchester, England to triumph Wednesday in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire," he wrote, comparing a woman's breasts to "small knurled caps of the oil dampeners."

For the record, this has NEVER happened to me...