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  1. #1

    • rainy day girl
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    Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    So, most of you know Anders and I tied the know a few weeks ago. I'm in the middle of trying to decide whether to change my name, hyphenate, or keep mine. I have no issue taking my husband's name, but the idea of my daughter and I having different names kind of unsettles me. I know how 1950's that seems, but it's really something I've thought a lot about. Anders pointed out that if I don't change it, then whatever children we have together will have a different last name than me. Also, once she gets married (if she chooses to) we'll have different names anyway.

    So what do you think? Did you change your name when you were married? Did you have any issues surrounding this?
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  2. #2

    • loves a silver lining
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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I didn't change mine. I kept just my maiden name for about 7 years then I hyphenated it.
    Last edited by dsnylndmom; 07-14-2008 at 02:02 PM.



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  3. #3

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I think Sun-Ders sounds good.
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  4. #4

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    It's difficult--my mother had the same issue. My biological father was the oldest of his family. He passed away when I was four. And she felt it was important to keep his name to honor him when she married again when I was 13 years old.

    So I can understand.

    She went with a hyphenate until we were older. She used her new married name on all business transactions, but used the hyphenate on all other things. Believe it or not, you can have both!

    Eventually, like your beau suggested, my older brother and myself eventually married off. He kept his last name-I, however, went with a hyphenate. Being an author, I felt that the name worked better that way. I can maintain my link to my parentage, but still show respect to my betrothed.

    Good luck with whatever you decide.

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  5. #5

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I never changed my name the first time I got married because I wanted to keep my last name and I also wanted my daughter to have the same last name as me. The second marriage I hyphenated. If I ever get married again I will keep my name once again.
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  6. #6

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    My mom recently had trouble with her choice of keeping her maiden name and hyphenating on my dad's last name at the end, especially with the recent stimulus checks. Her SSI number didn't match her new last name and there was a lot of drama around it and such. I don't know if it was because of the hyphen or bad preparation on their part though.

    Her name is regularly screwed up on many things, the hyphen gets left out, the names get mixed around, plus all the misspellings (since her maiden name is French). Always seemed like her choice brought a lot of trouble, but she was happy with it.

  7. #7

    • Miss Marvel
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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I have similar concerns. Currently, I still have my maiden name. I decided to hold off on any decision until we have children. Right now, I just don't find the issue that important.
    "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? " - Alice

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  8. #8

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I changed the kids name to match mine. I wen t in, did a name change and thats that. of course these are my grand kids, but I have one more name to go. its not hard to do I do not think. if thats ok with your daughter.

  9. #9

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I'm going to take FI's name. I'm going to miss my maiden name (since the spelling's a bit on the unique side and also is a brand of [crappy] beer). But I'm also excited to get a new last name (I have a feeling "CC" will be a nickname of mine!).

    Sunnyg, do whatever is going to make you happiest. I know it sounds a little strange, but would your girl be willing to hyphenate her last name? As in, you take Anders' last name, and P would be yours-Anders.

    Too complicated?

  10. #10

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    i changed mine to my husbands, never really thought about anything else really because i was so happy to trade in my unpronounceable-if-you-saw-it/unspellable-if-you-said-it last name for his (our) easy to pronounce AND spell last name
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  11. #11

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    My mom had her name hyphenated BUT she had the worst time with it because every time we would go somewhere - like on a plane - she got separated from the family. It is easiest to just change your last name completely and save the hassle at the airports trying to get it fixed.
    "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." -Henry David Thoreau


  12. #12

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I was a single parent when I married and so I had some of the same concerns about my son having a different last name than me. Since the birth father had never been involved with my son, and Timmy wanted to adopt him we both became Pratt's. When our next son came along he of course was a Pratt also.

    Have you asked your daughter what she would like?

  13. #13

    • rainy day girl
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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    She doesn't want to change her name, which is completely understandable. And she has no qualms about having a different last name than me. I'm the only one who has issues with it.
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  14. #14

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    This is the one thing I'm still quite a traditionalist about.

    There was never any discussion whether Belle would take my last name or not. At least I don't recall one.

    As for my last name, well, I hate it personally. I have no emotional attachment to it AT ALL and wish I would have changed it when I turned 18.

    But now I think were all stuck with it. We've thought about changing it, but now with the kids and stuff, not sure how hard that would be.

    I think the situation that you guys have is a good one and I know whatever decision you make will be the right one for you. Is Anders going to adopt your daughter?


  15. #15

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    Re: Married ladies and gents - name change question...

    I changed mine- easier to write out
    My maiden name is part of my middle name now, like, I have 2 middle names.

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