04-23-2009, 03:47 AM
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| YA RLY!   | English HW: Help me correct any grammar mistakes please Of course I expect there to be errors in grammar especially because this is the first draft. I have yet to go back and double check everything so . . . yeah. If you see anything that may be an issue let me know. If I can improve anything either, please let me know. This is for my business English class and the topic for the paper is "why" you've chosen to take the class other than for the degree requirement. There's a few words in there that I needed to use as extra credit vocab btw. Quote:
__________________ "You have control over your own actions and how you think about the events that impact your life. None us can control the outcomes, but your actions can increase the probability that desired outcomes will occur. There are no guarantees in life. The only guarantee is that doing nothing will get you nowhere." "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'" - Martin Luther King Jr. Last edited by Light Mouse; 04-23-2009 at 09:48 PM. | |
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04-23-2009, 10:42 AM
| #2 |
| Can't Stop Partying  | Re: English HW: Help me correct any grammar mistakes please I'm not doing your homework for you. But, I will tell you this: you are missing several commas, you end several sentences with prepositions, and you really should use full words and not contractions.
__________________ I gotta have Patrón I gotta have the Beat I gotta have a lot of pretty girls around me   |
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04-23-2009, 06:59 PM
| #4 |
| Naughty...  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: You Stay Classy San Diego
Posts: 1,814
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04-23-2009, 07:08 PM
| #5 | ||
| is NOT a dude!  Join Date: May 2005 Location: Hanging out at The Attic with Johnny Dakota
Posts: 14,326
| Re: English HW: Help me correct any grammar mistakes please Yeah I'm not helping you with your homework.
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04-23-2009, 07:14 PM
| #6 |
| Winter in Oceanside... Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Oceanside, CA
Posts: 13,462
| Re: English HW: Help me correct any grammar mistakes please I am a former teacher, and I adore English grammar. But Tui is right.  You need to do your own homework.  To start, think about prepositional phrases, run-on sentences, awkward/incomplete sentences (When you meet a person you would like for yourself to be seen as someone who you can work with.)You've got some interesting thoughts going on here. Don't let the grammar deter you from writing (although in this case, it sounds like it is important for your grade). Editing is a learned skill. Just keep practicing! Invest in the book,  The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition by William Strunk Jr. It is under ten bucks.
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04-23-2009, 07:42 PM
| #7 |
| welcoming the holidays.  | Re: English HW: Help me correct any grammar mistakes please It seems like you have a decent base to your essay, I would work on punctuation and grammar. It seems that your first sentence, and a few other spots, are missing words. I'm not loving your opening sentence, it's too....direct, and doesn't exactly catch the reader's attention. Also, I don't see a complete thesis statement which is important in any English paper, imho.
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04-23-2009, 07:44 PM
| #8 |
| Nothing to see here... MiceChat Moderator  | Re: English HW: Help me correct any grammar mistakes please I agree with Pretzel, you need a hook at the beginning. I'd love to read it, but I have to go do revisions on my own paper tonight. Best of luck!
__________________ If you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you have always gotten. ~Unknown |
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