I really donít know where to start. I will try not to make this an epic post, since I myself donít have the attention span to read them, but I guess I just need to vent and Mice Chat is my second home and family, and just like a family I may not always agree with things or get along with everybody, but I always feel welcomed.
Iíve wrestled with sharing this with you all, or at least those that are interested, for some time. I am a private person and donít want to be pitied. I know that Mice Chat is great place for support and advice and I guess that it why I have decided to let you all in on whatís been going on with me the past 5 months.
Back in September I got what I thought was food poisoning. I was sick for a day, but afterwards felt fine except that when I stood up I would get light headed and walking around would cause me to be short of breath. After a week of not getting any better I saw my doctor and she had some blood work done and within two hours I was in the hospital getting a blood transfusion as my blood count was extremely low. While in the hospital they found out I had bleeding in my esophagus. At first they thought it was due to my ulcers, but after a few more test they found cirrhosis of the liver. Not being much of a drinker and no other signs of alcohol caused liver disease, the doctors were puzzled by what was causing it. After some more tests they thought I had Wilsons Disease, which is where the liver cannot process the excess copper in my system, but after a month of inconclusive test results that doesnít seem to be the case. Since they cannot get a conclusive result the doctors have sent me down to the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix to determine what is causing the cirrhosis. The good news is that according to the biopsy and other tests, it does not look like cancer and there does not seem to be an immediate need for a transplant. The flip side is that I will eventually need a liver transplant. The worse thing is that the medications they have me on have made me more fatigued than ever along with bloating in the abs and ankles. I had been planning on attending the anniversary meet but with how bad I have been feeling it was impossible.
On top of all this I am still unemployed. When all this first started I applied for AHCCCS (state provided med insurance) and was denied on the basis that I made too much on unemployment to qualify (by $43.00), but I was put on another plan that would cover me on a ďspend down basisĒ. So I am covered, but with a deductible. Today I find out that they are discontinuing my coverage at the end of the month and that I will have to reapply when my medical bills exceed the deductible. The approval process takes up to 45 days. So now, in the middle of all this, I am going to have to redo everything I did 5 months ago!
Finally, on Sunday I found out that my uncle in Italy had died. Although I wasnít really close to him since I only saw him twice when I was young and once about 9 years ago, it still was hard and on top of everything else made me wonder when everything was going to stop.
Everything seems to be piling on and it makes one wonder when itís all going to stop and I will be able to catch my breath. What bothers me the most is that I am usually the strong one and others depend on me, now I am depending on others to help me with stuff and itís a shock to the system for me. I am fiercely independent and now that I have to have help it is frustrating. Couple that with the fact that everything just seems to be going the wrong way for me and I am just feeling so far down the rabbit hole. I donít know where things can go from here, I hope up, but right now I am not so sure.
Thanks for reading this long post. Venting has made me feel a little better. If you can spare a thought or prayer for my family and me I much appreciate it. I will keep you informed of any changes and updates.