Here's the situation:
My mom is married to a guy who annoys the snot out of my husband and me. They live on 40 acres out in the boonies and have no cable, about 2 hours from our house. They've been married for two years.
He has the most obnoxious mother on earth. I've known this woman since I was in 8th grade and both my sister and I hate her. She was the playground monitor at the elementary school in our tiny town where my sister attended school for 7 years. Everyone I know thinks she's awful! Famous for it.
So they want us to come to their house for Thanksgiving. To me, Thanksgiving is all about turkey, mashed potatoes and homemade gravy, and the Macy's Parade and plotting my day-after shopping spree. To my husband, it's all about pumpkin pie and football.
We went to their house last year, and it was HORRIBLE!!
My mom's mother-in-law wouldn't let any of us in the kitchen, made apple pies in September, then FROZE them so when she cooked them, the were all mushy and wet, made THREE jello desserts one of which had walnuts floating in it, and had a cow when my mom told her I intended to make the mashed potatoes. She wanted me to do them TWO hours before the turkey was done, and when I refused she stomped off. She's a total control freek!! I'm from a small family...and we always do things our own way. I've never had to be a "guest" at my mother's house before and when I'm there now, and her mother-in-law is there, it's clear I'm nothing but a guest. It's horrible!
Then she had a pouty fit, because I brought two pumpkin pies and a chocolate pie. Her apple pies didn't get touched, there was one scoop of jello gone from her three jello pans, and my pies were GONE. She'd also made another chocolate mousse dessert.....but since we all saw it sit out on the counter ALL DAY LONG no one touched it.
On top of that, my mom invited her ex-boyfriend. It was so awful! He clung to me and my husband like glue because everyone else was so hostile to him. And I don't like the guy.
This year my sister is going and she'd like me to go. My husband says NO WAY. We drove down there and back in one day last year. He missed all his football, I missed my parade, we spent half the day in the car, the other half listening to my mom's mother-in-law whine and complain. And my mom was hurt because we wouldn't spend the night. I could NOT stay over....my day-after shopping is like religion to me, and in downtown Portland there's a Christmas parade in the afternoon, then the Christmas tree lighting and caroling in the evening, and then we head to Meier & Frank to see Santa. Then on Saturday we buy our tree and spend that day and Sunday decorating. It's a HUGE deal to us. My husband doesn't care about many holidays, but he looooves Thanksgiving and was completely miserable at my mom's last year.
But on top of my sister going, my mom's husband's nephews and nieces will be there, his son and wife and their new baby girl.
I know that my husband and I are being selfish. But we really don't want to go to my mom's house! His mom always wants us to come for Thanksgiving and we've split that holiday with my mom. But this year, his grandparents are not doing well, and his mom is not going to do a big Thanksgiving meal, if she does one at all (which is shocking, she always does a big meal).
So....we might do a buffet downtown at the Governor Hotel. It's dressy and semi-formal and it sound fabulous. Or we might do a turkey and the whole deal at home....which sounds the best to me!
I know this is long....and I should search my heart and all that......but what would you do if you were me?