Alternative Point of View - Is There Such A Thing As Being "Too Nice"?

**Barbaraann** · 11-26-2005, 12:20 PM

So can a person be "Too Nice"?

My dad used to accuse my mom of that. He would tell her "Ann, if you don't stick up for yourself, you are going to let people walk all over you. However our parents raised us, to think before we spoke. Don't start fights. Don't talk badly about people. Do the right thing.

I won't get too moral here.

Can a person be too nice?

**bejeweledcat** · 11-26-2005, 01:33 PM

I think it depends on your definition of nice. I know people who are "nice" on first glance and will rip you to shreds behind your back. I was raised in the deep south to be polite and well mannered, but that doesn't stop me from speaking up if I see some one doing something wrong or hurtful. And I've been accused of being too nice because I don't like hurting anyones feelings, pleasing my loved ones and my manners fall a little on the old fashoned side.

**Baloo D. Bear** · 11-26-2005, 01:39 PM

No, I don't think so. There is a difference between being nice and allowing yourself to be a doormat...it is possible to be one without becoming the other.
We were raised the same as you. My dad is known as a 'nice' man. He was successful in business,and a respected leader in his church and community. However, when he's gone, I think what will always be remembered is that he was kind and considerate of others.
If I had my wish, I'd much prefer to be remembered that way as well.

**aimster** · 11-26-2005, 02:06 PM

I have a friend who is too nice for his own good sometimes. He does things he really doesn't want to do just to help out someone he really doesn't even like all that much. Go figure. Sometimes he has to learn how to say "no".

**MickeysGirl** · 11-26-2005, 03:07 PM

No, I don't think so. Some people are just genuinely good. Others while they put on a nice face are actually what I call plastic (phony).
There is nothing wrong with caring for and being nice to others, simply having good manners.
Don't confuse being nice with allowing other to take advantage of you, that's a different topic entirely.

**Ride Warrior** · 11-26-2005, 07:50 PM

Nice people are certainly happier than those that are mean-spirited and devious - likely healthier on average too. One needs to be kind to themselves as well. You will never be able to please everyone. So, selfishness and genuine caring (being others oriented) go hand in hand. In fact, the two qualities are married and out playing beach volleyball in the nude someplace.

Life sucks and it is unfair. Life is one awesome shared adventure.

**MissChristine** · 11-26-2005, 11:21 PM

i kinda think so. i've been called too nice by a few people (whom i highly respect) and it's been for things mentioned by others: by being kind to those who do not necessarially deserve it or who treat me in a degrading way. i can understand the doormat thing, and that's different from being too nice, being a doormat means you don't know how to stand up for youself. you can stand up for yourself and be too nice, it's just that you don't want to hurt others while you're doing it.

**Disneyman1973** · 11-26-2005, 11:38 PM

Yes there is such a thing as being "too nice." I actuly had a woman break up with me because I was "too nice of a guy." I was stunned by that excuse so I went up to 20 different woman at work and ask then if I was a nice guy. All 20 said yes. I then asked if I was too nice 18 said yes. Thats 90%. After that I tryed the bad boy thing. Not me went back to being good ole nice Ian