Today my brother was put into a group home. He turned 18 five days ago and now is able to make his own decisions. He may never go back to live with my mom. After years of stress, calls to the sheriff, and nightmarish behavior problems my mom decided it was best to put him in a group home. I don't know how to react. I am sad, numb, torn, and angry at my mom for letting it come to this.
He came to us when he was 7 days old. It was December 17, 1987. He was the first of 3 adoptions for our family. He was born with cerebral palsy and half of his brain missing. I watched him through his struggles and triumphs in life and loved him through it all.
I watched him take his first steps at 7 years old even though he was told he would never walk. He had little to no mobility in his left arm and both legs. My mom decided it would be best for me not to "get his hopes up" and I got in trouble any time I tried to help him walk. That is where I believe the real problems started.
Months later he began taking medication for minor behavior problems that were not yet out of control. I don't think my mom did it on purpose. I think she was overwhelmed. By this point she had 4 kids at home as a single parent. She was a CPS worker for the County of Sacramento, her oldest son was graduating from High School in two years, and she was pregnant with my youngest brother after a devastating accident late in 1993 on our way home from Disneyland.
At this point my brothers behavior problems spun out of control. He rapidly began gaining weight, his outbursts became more and more violent, and it was stressful just to try to have a conversation with him sometimes. But, underneath it all I could still see the boy who had so much love in his heart and so many struggles in his life. His chances for walking vanished very quickly as his weight went up. He couldn't even stand anymore.
My mom is not one to show emotion. I've seen her cry two times in my life. Far cry from me who is known for being emotional. The last line in her email said "Don't really want to talk about this tonight". Now for anyone else that'd be normal. Not my mom! She is in a world of hurt tonight and I don't know that, at this point, she had any other choice but to do what she did.
I am so incredibly sad at how unfair this world is. I am devastated, unsure of how to react, and 2000 miles away from a situation that is causing pain deep in my heart!