Stewie: [Picking up the phone.] Hello, operator. Hello... Oh god, that's right you have to punch in the numbers nowadays. Uhhh, I should know this. Oh yes,
Stewie: 867-5309, yes that's it. Wait that's not it, damn you Tommy Two-Tone. Huh, only one thing to do 111-1111, Lois? Damn. 111-1112 Lois? DAMN. 111-1113...
Brian- This place is paradise
-Except for Randy Newman
-Yup he just sits there all night and day singin about what he sees
Randy Newman- Fat man with his kids and dog, drove in through the morning fog, hey there rover! C'mon over.
Lois-Well at least its nice having some dinner music.
Randy Newman- Red headed lady, reachin for an apple, gonna take a bite, nope nope, she's gonna breathe on it first, wipes it on her blouse. She takes a bite, chews it once, twice, three times four times stops, she takes a long hard look at randy. 5 times, fat old husband walkin over
Lois-Let's get the hell outta here.
Randy Newman- Walkin down the road singin with Randy, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot left foot, SMACK
Lois-Stewie Eat Your Broccolli here comes the airplane mmmmmmmm
Stewie- Damn you, Damn the Broccolli and Damn the Wright Brothers
Stewie-Yay and God said to Abraham you will kill your son Isaac, and Abraham said I can't here you you'll have to speak into the microphone. And God said oh I'm sorry is this better check check check check Jerry pull the high end out I'm still getting some hiss back here.
Bill Cosby-You see the kids they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. With their hippin and a hoppin and their bippin and a boppin, so they don't know what the Jazz is all about, you see? Jazz is like a Jello Pudding pop, no Jazz is like kodak film, no Jazz is like the New Coke it'll be around forever heh heh heh
Ralph-This tastes like Grandma
-Yeah so I went over the the Mcdonalds in Shelbyville the other night.
-Yeah a McDonalds restaraunt, I never heard of either but apparently they have over 3,000 locations in this state alone.
-Must of Sprung up over night.
-yeah well you know its the little differences
-Well at McDonalds you can get a krusty burger with cheese, but they don't call it a krusty burger with cheese.
-Get out, well what do they call it?
-Quarter Pounder with cheese.
-Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well I can picture the cheese. Well do they have Krusty Burger partially jalatunated nondairy gumbase beverages?
-yeah they call them shakes
-heh shakes dont know what your gettin.
-Well I know what I'm getting some donuts, uh, help me out of the booth boys.
See my vest See my vest made from real gorrilla chest, see this sweater? Theres no better than authentic Irish Setter. See this hat? twas my cat my evening wear vampire bat! These white slippers are albino african endagered rhino. Grizzly bear underwear, turtles necks I've got my share, beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest! Try my Red Robin suit, it comes one breast or two, see my vest see my vest see my vest. Like my loafers? Former gophers, it was that or skin my chauffeurs but a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best, so lets prepare these dogs
kill two for matching clogs!
oh please wont you see my vest!
I really like the vest!
You know those Germans; if you don't join the party, they come get you.-peter griffin
Well, it's Stewie, but... you can call me "cookie" if you like. Yes, I also answer to "Artemis, " "Agent Buckwald" and "Snake." Yes, I rather like "Snake." Snake Griffin.-Stewie Griffin
"He gets around you know he knows all the pretty girls." ~ Walt Disney
This is a hard one to explain, but if you've ever seen the episode of South Park called "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka." There's a TV show in this episode called "Jesus and Pals." Jesus walks into the studio audience to let the people ask questions to Stan, Kyle and Cartman. The second guy Jesus gives the mic too calls Jesus, Montell and then says...
"Montell, just cause the man touch some children now and again doesn't mean we should throw him in jail. I mean the man is a great entertainer, besides it's Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson."
Then the audience cheers, just like on real talk shows.