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Thread: Stuff to Ponder

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    Post Stuff to Ponder

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyphile
    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
    Replace Supermarket with Disneyland, and shopping cart with....
    -Monorail Man

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyphile
    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

    Oops!
    Why can't you strike a match on a marshmallow?
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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyphile
    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
    This one has baffled me for YEARS!




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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyphile
    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
    Man, that's what I want to know!!!! As someone who has a lisp, I think that it is cruel and unusual punishment for me not to be able to SAY the speach impediment!!!!! Bastards.

    Quote Originally Posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
    Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheHousingBubbleBlog
    Everyone says that the U.S. doesn’t make anything anymore, but that’s not exactly true. We’re the world leader in the manufacturing of bull****.

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Why does Donald Duck cover himself up when he hardly ever wears pants anyway, when he gets out of the shower?
    1st Amendment-Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyphile
    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
    This is along the same lines of why we push the elevator call button more than once (to make it arrive faster) and the crosswalk button (so it doesn't skip your turn)!
    A signature should go here.

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Or stick your hand out when it rains, to see if it really is!
    ~ MickeysGirl șoș
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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    What I can NOT stand is:

    "Are you all right?" (Example standard question)

    "Yes."

    "Are you sure?"

    "GAH!!!"

    'Cause I'll have changed my mind in that .2 second gap???
    "But every night, when it gets dark
    and the stars come out,
    I'll look up on her behalf.
    I'll look up in the sky and think of you."






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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Or asking someone if they are asleep.

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Monorail Man
    Replace Supermarket with Disneyland, and shopping cart with....
    ugh! i completely agree with you...but, i've been on both sides of the ... & the visibility when you're pushing those things is dreadful! especially w/ a pig-tailed little head in front of you :-)

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Barbaraann
    Or asking someone if they are asleep.
    or..when they pick up the phone.. "are you home?"

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    I'll answer the ones I think I know....LOL

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? I don't. I put knew batteries in.

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Because they have to process the check still....and notify the person trying tio cash it.

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Becasue there's no air in the bottle so it doesn't dry.

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? They never found the missing link, but Lucy was pretty close and they were a different type/breed of ape.

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? because the dye dilutes in the water.

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? well, this one is obvious...LOL

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. I agree...

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    I'll never forget one time years ago when my grandmother called the house (this was before everyone had cell phones) and said, "Are you home?"

    I responded with, "Just a second, let me check."

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    Re: Stuff to Ponder

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyphile
    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Cause, I don't want to be the one to get to 1,657,792,042 loose count and have to start over!

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    I don't know, but the colour stays in the bubbles at the car wash. It's just not fair.

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Yes, on the day I need to buy one.

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Cause we think while we were gone Tinker Bell put something to eat in for us!

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

    I've always been a half a bubble off plumb so it's definately me!
    And a couple for the list:

    You know where something is for months, then when you need it you can't find it.

    Something sits around for yearswithout being used, but 2 days after you toss it you have to buy a new one cause..... You needed it!

    You dress up and go out, you see no one. You dress like a slob and run in to get one thing and you see 15 people you haven's seen in years.

    You never run out of cat litter when the store is open.

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