Steps to becoming a 'model mother' and a piece of 'art', by Britany Spears.
1. Skanktify yourself.
2. Where little to no clothing.
3. Become wealthy overnight by strip tease...er concert performances.
4. Marry a handfull of times, but make only one really count.
5. Become pregnant on a bear skin rug.
6. Give birth to baby on a bear skin rug (preferably in same position as when conceived).
7. Let new born baby drive the car for you.
8. Change clothing to the fashionable 'trailer trash' trend
9. Walk barefoot in places most people would never step foot.
10. Become famous 'pro-life' activist.
There, simple as pie.
Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"