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  1. #1

    • Give Peace a Chance
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    Oct 2005
    8 miles from Disneyland

    Smile Anger Management

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
    someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
    make. I found the number and dialed it.

    A man answered, saying "Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*#*in'
    number!" and the phone was slammed down on me.

    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

    When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I
    had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an azzhole!" and hung up.

    I wrote his number down with the word 'azzhole' next to it, and put it
    in my desk drawer.

    Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
    I'd call him up and yell, "You're an azzhole!" It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "azzhole
    calling" would have to stop.

    So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from Verizon.
    I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

    He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
    and said, "That's because you're an azzhole!"

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
    patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
    for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
    his back window which included his phone number, so I wrote down the

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first azzhole (I had his
    number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW azzhole,
    too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    "Yes, it is", he said.

    "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.

    "Yes, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse. It's a yellow house, and
    the car's parked right out in front."

    "What's your name?" I asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

    "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    "I'm home every evening after five."

    "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"


    "Don, you're an azzhole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my
    speed dial, too.

    Now, when I had a problem, I had two azzholes to call. Then I came up
    with an idea.

    I called Azzhole #1.


    "You're an azzhole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he

    "Yeah," I said.

    "Stop calling me," he screamed.

    "Make me," I said.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Don Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "Azzhole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my
    black Beamer parked in front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, azzhole," and hung up.

    Then I called azzhole #2. "Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, azzhole," I said.

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    "You'll what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your azz," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, azzhole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
    34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way over there to kill
    my wives lover.

    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Mowbray
    Blvd, Vaucluse.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got there just
    in time to watch two azzholes beating the @#$% out of each other in
    front of six cop cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.

    NOW I feel much better.

    Anger management really does work...
    ~ MickeysGirl șoș
    ~ Gotta Love the Mouse! șoș

  2. #2

    • Member
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    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Pembroke Pines, FL

    Re: Anger Management


  3. #3

      MiceChat Moderator
    • Where should we go next?
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    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Now a WDW Local!
    Blog Entries

    Re: Anger Management

    Good morning, son
    In twenty years from now
    Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
    And I can tell you 'bout today
    And how I picked you up and everything changed
    It was pain
    Sunny days and rain
    I knew you'd feel the same things...

  4. #4

    • debating what to put here
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    Join Date
    Jan 2005

    Re: Anger Management

    Very funny, although this story has been around the internet for a very long time. I think I first read it about 5 years ago.
    "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?"
    - Satchel Paige

  5. #5

    • Man O Lantern
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    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    It's fall, ya'll!

    Re: Anger Management

    Thanks for the giggles!!

  6. #6

    • MiceChat Moderator
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    Sep 2005

    Re: Anger Management


    And I thought sticking notes on peoples cars that said, "If you can't park, than don't drive." was going over the edge.

    To funny!

  7. #7

    • loves a silver lining
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    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Blog Entries

    Re: Anger Management


    Delta Mu Chi Alpha ΔΜΧΑ

  8. #8

    • Again! Again! Again!
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    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    On the emergency card.

    Re: Anger Management

    heh heh heh heh
    Founding member of the B.A. I LOVE US!!
    FratSor Sister-Delta Mu Chi Alpha ΔΜΧΑ
    I bring the magic!!!
    "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them"
    Quote Originally Posted by Reverend DMother
    Girl bonding is just so necessary. It's just as important as "me" time. A good girl bonding session leaves you feeling so refreshed. I think of it as a NEED vs a want. There are just things that you need to talk to other women with. You may have the best relationship in the world with your husband, but there are just times you need your girlfriends. It makes for a healthier and happier you which makes everything else you do better.

  9. #9

    • pronounced, Casey Jr. 1
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    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Los Angeles

    Re: Anger Management

  10. #10

    • Hooterville, USA
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    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    The Haney House

    Re: Anger Management

    Hey, my name's Don Hansen! Was that you the whole time?

    This has been a Filmways presentation dahling.

  11. #11

    • Give Peace a Chance
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    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    8 miles from Disneyland

    Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by Druggas
    Hey, my name's Don Hansen! Was that you the whole time?
    No, I'm the one that put the post-it on your car that said; "If you can't park, don't drive!"
    ~ MickeysGirl șoș
    ~ Gotta Love the Mouse! șoș

  12. #12

    • Ok time for cocoa
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    Dec 2005

    Re: Anger Management

    Yes, that was very funny. I really like the ending.
    Quote Originally Posted by lazyboy97O View Post
    How is a state religion bad, but state medicine good?
    Quote Originally Posted by steamboatpete View Post
    Anyone who makes the decision to depend upon the government to take care of their basic needs has essentially doomed himself to a life of bitter disappointment.

  13. #13

    • What, where am i?
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    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Underground Disneyland Jail

    Re: Anger Management

    Greatest story ever!
    If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then find someone who's life has given them vodka and have a party.

    I look at you and I see 2 men. The man you are and the man you ought to be. One day those 2 will meet and should make for one hell of a football player!

    If this is torture, chain me to the wall

    Are you there God? It's me Jesus.

    Locke and Jack are to busy worrying about Locke and Jack.

    The best kind of Prize is a surprise! Hehehe

    The sun never sets on the Disney Empire.

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