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  1. #1

    • Know More Than You Should
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    Post 42 Quotes By Douglas Adams

    It is well known in the anals of written history that the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything can be calulated to the number 42. This fact was eventually revealed to the population of earth through a series of increasingly inacurrately named books called The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

    These books were brought into being by a man named Douglas Adams, who dropped dead in a gym four years ago. As a direct result of this, he has not visited that particular gym since.

    The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy was at first a radio series, then a series of books, a television show, and a computer game. All of these versions of the story directly contradict each other for no purpose then to annoy people.

    At the time of his death, Adams was hard at work trying to get The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy made into a feature film. Adams had been quoted as saying that trying to make a film in Hollywood is very much like trying to grill a piece of steak by having people breath on it.

    Recently, Touchstone Pictures (a subsidiary of the Walt Disney Company) has finally made a Hitchhiker's feature film, more or less based on Adams' original script.

    In celebration of such an occasion, and to prove beyond all doubt that the answer to the ultimate question really is 42, here are 42 quotes form Douglas Adams, many of which are exerpts from the popular Hitchhiker's
    books.


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------


    In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy






    Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

    -Douglas Adams




    For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.
    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy





    Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too.


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed.


    -Douglas Adams






    That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy







    The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy






    The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.


    -Douglas Adams






    The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.




    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem.


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy






    " ...You hadn't exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them had you? I mean like actually telling anyone or anything.'
    But the plans were on display...'
    o n display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.'
    `That's the display department.'
    `With a torch.'
    `Ah, well the lights had probably gone.'
    `So had the stairs.'
    `But look you found the notice didn't you?'
    `Yes,' said Arthur, `yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of The Leopard".'"


    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    You know,' said Arthur, `it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die from asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what mymother told me when I was young.'
    `Why, what did she tell you?'
    `I don't know, I didn't listen.'"

    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy



    "`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'"

    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    Marvin: I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.
    Mattress: Er, five.
    Marvin: Wrong. You see?
    The mattress was much impressed by this and realized that it was in the presence of a not unremarkable mind.

    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy




    "It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the product of a deranged imagination."

    -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy





    The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizable number of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this. The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem. This is: Change. Read it through again and you'll get it.

    -Douglas Adams


    "I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: 'Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.'"



    -Douglas Adams








    "The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%."


    -Douglas Adams






    "First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure."


    -Douglas Adams




    "I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just part of the way the world works. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things."

    -Douglas Adams




    "A nerd is someone who uses a telephone to talk to other people about telephones."
    -Douglas Adams




    "Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet"

    -Douglas Adams



    "The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining amour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second-rate technology, led them into it in the first place.

    -Douglas Adams






    [Getting a movie made in Hollywood is like] "trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people coming into the room and breathing on it."
    -Douglas Adams




    "It takes an awful long time to not write a book."

    -Douglas Adams






    ----------------------------------------------------------------------


    At the moment, what your are no doubt saying is that there were not 42 quotes, but indeed 29. You would however be incorrect in that accesment, since you probably counted one twice.

    If you feel the need to express further on the matter of discrepencies in grammer, spelling and formating, then please type them out and place them in a self addressed stamped envelope. After mailing the evelope, expect a reply within two to three days. This reply may look similar to your original letter, but this is merely an illusion and should be ignored.

























  2. #2

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    Very clever and very funny. Ir ead the books years ago, listened to the raido show on NPR when it was first broadcast (and taped it, though the tapes are long gone) and saw the made for TV Movie the BBC did on a very limited budget, and played the computer game. I loved each one for it's own merit, but the best version where, of course, the original books themselves. I think the radio show was also very well done, for the same reason that the books where so good. You had to use your mind and imagination to envision what was being described or talekd about. In the radio show the voices where perfect for how I had imagined the characters to sound. I liked the Made for TV Movie for the simple fact that the same radio actores where used, so that was a neat connection. Although the BBC operates on a very limited budget, overall it was pretty ok. Nothing special, but for me enjoyable. I am not at all sure about the new big budget movie, even after seeins a couple of trialers on the internet. I will probably go see it though.

    Your post was very much in the Adams style and by the way, well done. I really got a good feeling again about Hitchhikers Guide and the wierd humour present therein.
    Peter Pan Forever!!! I Will Never Grow Up.

    Thank You Poisonedapples

  3. #3

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    Ah, Doug...

    "So Long and Thanks for all the fish...." My favorite quote from all the books.

    The BBC series taught me to appreciate Doug. It enticed me to read the books and to keep reading with great glee at the insanity he so wonderfully wrought and wrote.
    Marvin the paranoid Android, Slartibartfast - creator of the fjords, Ford Prefect, Arthur Dent, Dirk Gently - how I hate to have lost the creator of all of you.

    Thanks for all the fish indeed.


    War is over if you want it...

    Peace - Love - Mickey Mouse

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