If youíre planning on going out in public this season during the summertime, Iíd just like to give you all a few helpful tips to keep you from having people point and laugh at you, and to keep you off the "what not to wear" list.
Wearing sandals? Make sure your feet are not only clean, but that your toenails are clipped nicely. Nobody needs to see talons on your toes with dark gunk underneath the nails.
Shorts. PLEASE make sure they fit properly. Cameltoes are NOT EVER in season if youíre a lady. And if youíre a man, we donít need to see every contour from the front, IF you catch my drift. Try some nice cargo type shorts. They are stylish and leave a little to the imagination.
Colored wife beater t-shirts with the logo for your favorite bar in Arkansas on them are not acceptable. In fact the only time a wife beater type t-shirt is acceptable is if you are in superb physical fitness with nice biceps and waxed shoulders, and even then itís iffy. If youíre gonna wear a t-shirt make it a nice t-shirt. Ringer-teeís look nice. Colored tees with a funny saying on the front are popular. Plain old colored teeís work as well.
Ladies, please, nobody needs to see your belly hanging out, even if you have a 6 pack. And ESPECIALLY if you donít. Do you like seeing guys with beer bellies hanging out? Yea, I didnít think so. Buy a shirt that covers yourself up. Muumuus are popular!
Guys, baseball caps are fine, but please, no baseball caps that look like 10 gallon hats. You know, the kind that farmers seem to always wear that have a John Deere logo on them or the place where they like to buy their farm equipment from, that look like they were made in 1984. Boys, its time for an update.
Heading to the beach? If you are a woman, 2-piece suits are only acceptable if you have the body to wear one. And even then, ask someone. I cant tell you how many women I have seen wearing a 2 piece with all sorts of cottage cheese squirting from the sides of their bikini tops and bottoms and asking myself why. A nice one piece please. Men, no Speedos EVER! Leave those to our European friends and bodybuilders. Try board shorts, they make ya look hip and in with the times.
Applying suntan lotion is a must in sunny summertime weather. Please make sure its completely rubbed into your skin. Seeing your back with a whitish hue of suntan lotion is not appealing, and neither are the goops left on your ears and neck, looks like a seagull crapped on you! Ask a friend if you are free and clear of unsightly suntan lotion not rubbed in properly.
Sunglasses are also a must, but please for the love of god make sure they fit your face! Giant lenses on a petite woman make ya look like The Fly.
Men, a little back hair is fine, but if youíre like me, and look like you either have a sweater on when you have nothing on or like you have mange: wax, shave, laser, Nair, epilady, whatever. Do SOMETHING. Nothing wrong with a little manscaping.
These are just a few helpful hints from Onut. If you have any youíd like to add please, feel free