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  1. #1

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    Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    If youíre planning on going out in public this season during the summertime, Iíd just like to give you all a few helpful tips to keep you from having people point and laugh at you, and to keep you off the "what not to wear" list.

    Wearing sandals? Make sure your feet are not only clean, but that your toenails are clipped nicely. Nobody needs to see talons on your toes with dark gunk underneath the nails.

    Shorts. PLEASE make sure they fit properly. Cameltoes are NOT EVER in season if youíre a lady. And if youíre a man, we donít need to see every contour from the front, IF you catch my drift. Try some nice cargo type shorts. They are stylish and leave a little to the imagination.

    Colored wife beater t-shirts with the logo for your favorite bar in Arkansas on them are not acceptable. In fact the only time a wife beater type t-shirt is acceptable is if you are in superb physical fitness with nice biceps and waxed shoulders, and even then itís iffy. If youíre gonna wear a t-shirt make it a nice t-shirt. Ringer-teeís look nice. Colored tees with a funny saying on the front are popular. Plain old colored teeís work as well.

    Ladies, please, nobody needs to see your belly hanging out, even if you have a 6 pack. And ESPECIALLY if you donít. Do you like seeing guys with beer bellies hanging out? Yea, I didnít think so. Buy a shirt that covers yourself up. Muumuus are popular!

    Guys, baseball caps are fine, but please, no baseball caps that look like 10 gallon hats. You know, the kind that farmers seem to always wear that have a John Deere logo on them or the place where they like to buy their farm equipment from, that look like they were made in 1984. Boys, its time for an update.

    Heading to the beach? If you are a woman, 2-piece suits are only acceptable if you have the body to wear one. And even then, ask someone. I cant tell you how many women I have seen wearing a 2 piece with all sorts of cottage cheese squirting from the sides of their bikini tops and bottoms and asking myself why. A nice one piece please. Men, no Speedos EVER! Leave those to our European friends and bodybuilders. Try board shorts, they make ya look hip and in with the times.

    Applying suntan lotion is a must in sunny summertime weather. Please make sure its completely rubbed into your skin. Seeing your back with a whitish hue of suntan lotion is not appealing, and neither are the goops left on your ears and neck, looks like a seagull crapped on you! Ask a friend if you are free and clear of unsightly suntan lotion not rubbed in properly.

    Sunglasses are also a must, but please for the love of god make sure they fit your face! Giant lenses on a petite woman make ya look like The Fly.

    Men, a little back hair is fine, but if youíre like me, and look like you either have a sweater on when you have nothing on or like you have mange: wax, shave, laser, Nair, epilady, whatever. Do SOMETHING. Nothing wrong with a little manscaping.

    These are just a few helpful hints from Onut. If you have any youíd like to add please, feel free

  2. #2

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    !!!!

    You defy words my friend! So glad I wasn't drinking when I read this.




  3. #3

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    If you are going to wear a plastic bra, please make sure that the plastic back portion of the bra is hidden.

    Overalls are out. Capris are in. Be comfortable, but don't look like you just rolled out of bed. PJs are for sleeping, they are not items that should be worn in public.

    Put on clothes that complement your body. Do NOT wear clothes that accentuate your areas that are in need of major reconstruction.

    Leave the fanny pack at home. Get a backpack or a messenger bag instead.

    Heels and Disneyland do not go together well.

    For the love of Jimmy Choo: Stop the madness that is furry boots!!!!!
    Anything listed on the park maps as an attraction is fair game for inclusion in the Rally.
    I cannot confirm nor deny the inclusion of any attraction in the Rally.



    May the Gumballs Be with You...Always.

    NO GOATS!

  4. #4

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    And the following swimwear should NEVER be worn out in public.


    Growing older is manditory
    Growing up is however, optional

  5. #5

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    Quote Originally Posted by OogieBoogie
    And the following swimwear should NEVER be worn out in public.


    oh darn , now I love a nice lean man in a speedo but I think I am the only one!! whats wrong with me.... some one????? speedo, the next best this to a rubber band around your bum ;lol:

  6. #6

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    EPILADY!!!

    I remember those!

    Didn't they rip your hairs out and leave you in major pain???

    I remember when they were introduced to the public. They were the hottest seller AND the most returned item at the same time!

    OUCH!!!

    (GREAT post, by the way!)

  7. #7

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    Thank you so much for your thoughts O-Nut!!! Now, could you please take out a giant ad in the USA Today and announce it to the world!! Especially they part about covering up your stomach and the shorts!

    Will trade husband for Disneyland and DCA Pins!

  8. #8

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    OMG...best post ever. I am so laughing my a$$ off right now
    Katie
    Founding member of the BA I LOVE us!!!
    FIGHT ON!!!!!!









  9. #9

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    Quote Originally Posted by hakuna makarla
    oh darn , now I love a nice lean man in a speedo but I think I am the only one!! whats wrong with me.... some one????? speedo, the next best this to a rubber band around your bum ;lol:
    You're not the only one, I love a good looking guy in a Speedo. That said, Speedos, like spandex or muscle shirts, are not something everyone can (or should) wear; on the right body - very hot, on the wrong body.... not so much. Unfortunatly, some guys out there have no reality (or full length mirrors).
    "The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion. " -George Washington

  10. #10

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    I think you need to run for Congress!! They you could make some of these to be laws and the punishment would be death
    </IMG>
    aka Sara




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    isn't pictured,

    ABE is still hibernating

  11. #11

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    awe, most of this stuff does not bother me, but I'm self absorbed and rarely notice others...

  12. #12

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    Quote Originally Posted by jwbear
    You're not the only one, I love a good looking guy in a Speedo. That said, Speedos, like spandex or muscle shirts, are not something everyone can (or should) wear; on the right body - very hot, on the wrong body.... not so much. Unfortunatly, some guys out there have no reality (or full length mirrors).
    can you say Speedo and not faint ....... wow!! this got the old girls heart pumping.

    the santa speedo yummy!!

  13. #13

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    My eyes Karla!!!!!!! ARGH!!! I'm sorry, but I dont' care HOW good looking a guy is, I don't want to see him in a speedo. Ever.

    Quote Originally Posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
    Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheHousingBubbleBlog
    Everyone says that the U.S. doesnít make anything anymore, but thatís not exactly true. Weíre the world leader in the manufacturing of bull****.

  14. #14

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    Quote Originally Posted by a_hyperbole
    My eyes Karla!!!!!!! ARGH!!! I'm sorry, but I dont' care HOW good looking a guy is, I don't want to see him in a speedo. Ever.
    I just stuck my eyes back in my head, please a well made man in a speedo is about as awsome as can be. well besides naked and well a good girl like me can not look at them

  15. #15

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    Re: Look good this summer. Follow Onuts helpful hints!

    Quote Originally Posted by SCUBAbe
    awe, most of this stuff does not bother me, but I'm self absorbed and rarely notice others...
    good girl I my self do not care what others look like, to each his own/her own
    I see someweird stuff, but any more I think ok, well I am glad you feel good about it and I comend you on your self esteem

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