Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 105
  1. #1

    • Incognito
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,469
    Blog Entries
    49

    Adults, still living with their parents

    Seems like this is becoming more common these days. Or maybe it's been like this forever and I just seem to notice it the older I get. Plus I have 2 friends in this situation.

    One, a woman, is 36 and still lives with her folks. She lived out of state at another friends doing "nanny" work for 6 months but thats it, she's lived in the same house since birth.

    Another, a man, is 46 and has NEVER lived away from home.

    She finally has a full time job and has for a few years, but before that it was college, then a menial job doing "yard duty" at a school, then temp jobs.

    He hasn't had a full time job ever. He's a substitute teacher during the school year and a parks and rec. "guy" during the summertime, and that job is usually held by college kids!

    Is this considered the "Peter Pan Syndrome"? Adults that just dont want to take on the responsibility of getting a real full time job, have a meaningful relationship and living on their own?

    Part of me thinks they are afraid of failure. Failure at living alone and not making rent, failure on a dating level, failure on the job scene, that they just stay in the comfort zone of the parents homes. Why the parents dont kick them out is for another thread.

    I (and my other friends) have asked them about moving out and they never really have a clear cut answer. It's always himming and hawing around the subject, like they KNOW they should move out but just dont wanna talk about it.

    Do any of you out there have friends in this situation? Or if you are a parent do you have a kid thats an adult still living at home?

  2. #2

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    well thats none of your buisness
    Posts
    25,263

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    Here is my take,
    if they are home to help there parents, and to bless them stay home and do this. I left home at 18 and wished I had stayed home longer and worked and saved up. I know a few people live at home to care for there aging parents and or grand parents and I see this is a wonderful thing.
    If I had a huge home I would bring my parents home to live with me, as I care for them now. Also its a way to save money, have what they want and if they get along with there parents more power to them. if mom had a big house I would be there. ( I love my mom and dad )
    also the chinese people have always lived in family groups, and get along. there children usually do not move out until they get married.
    In the old days the thought was hummm he or she is a mommys boy,or girl, today the cost of living is so high that a lot of folks have to live with parents or family to survive. would I live at home had I the chance, oh yeah, but I have been out on my own to long 28 years.... I can not go back but I think if you live with mom, and you help and do what you can to make her life better, God bless you in all you do in life!!

  3. #3

    • Senior Member
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    The Diamond State
    Posts
    1,542

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    I don't know anyone in this situation. The people I know my age who live with their parents only do it very short terms because they just got laid off, they broke up/divorced/separated, saving up for a house downpayment, etc. However, they move out as soon as they get back on their feet again or have the funds for their downpayment. It's definitely not a long term thing. Most of my peers never returned home once they graduated from college.

    I went from my parent's house to moving in with my now-husband. I have never lived alone.
    Amanda
    Just remember without a well written Disney Villain, there would be no point in the Heroes and the Princesses. Have you hugged a Disney Villain today?

  4. #4

    • insufferable know-it-all
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Location: Location
    Posts
    9,648

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    I moved back in with my mom in late '01 due to being unemployed. I did not move out when I got a job though, as we had a nice thing going with my mom, my oldest brother and I in the house. We all accepted eachother as adults with their own lives, and it was very nice not to come home to an empty apartment, plus all our animals always had company.

    When I was able to return to USC to finish school in '03 (after having another airline go bankrupt while I worked there), I moved into campus housing but kept my mom's house as my 'permanent' address right up until Talon and I got an apartment together.

    I'd say the reason it's so prevalent these days is a combination of factors:

    1. We're all waiting longer to get married these days, and with sex now being an open topic, there is no need to "sneak around" or have one's own place in order to have a healthy relationship (though it does make things a bit easier).

    2. There are too many college grads in America. There, I said it. There are more grads than jobs that need grads, so people with BA's are taking jobs previously held by those without college educations, forcing anyone who only graduated high school to take jobs lower on the socio-economic ladder. This also means people are taking on huge amounts of debt, and then getting jobs that make that debt difficult to pay off, but unavoidably so because without the degree, they couldn't even get those jobs any more. So with "real wages" (income adjusted for inflation) down from 30 years ago, plus additional debt, it's much harder for adult children to move out the way their parents were able to do. Unfortunately, many from their generation don't realize this and think a)their child is in a unique situation, and b)their child is lazy or just irresponsible. (Luckily many others "get it" and are perfectly understanding of the position my generation is in)

    3. The population is growing. The earth's landmass isn't. More people live in urban areas than ever before in history. Real estate (owned or rented) is scarce. Scarcity causes prices to rise, thus taking up some real estate of your own is getting increasingly expensive.

    Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...



  5. #5

    • Colorado Bound?
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Posts
    309

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    Yeah. I have had 2 friends like this. For them, it was like they were stuck at age 22. It's like they never got out of that mode or lifestyle. In one case, his parents never pushed him out and he was used to getting what he wanted from childhood. Why change if there is no impetus to do so? He was comfortable in his lifestyle and sponging off his parents; who I blame for not instilling a sense of personal responsibility and personal care. I doubt he would do well on his own.
    -AmandasDad

  6. #6

    • /sigh
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    In your dreams
    Posts
    4,501

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    I know in the Greek culture (and many others), kids (especially girls) live at home with their parents until they get married. And if they don't get married...they're probably still at home. Simple as that. Now, I moved out after highschool, but there were special circumstances at the time. My parents moved out of the country at the time. I'm not sure if things were different, if I would still be living with parents. I couldn't even imagine!
    Marge: Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand?
    Homer: But Marge, this one came with a corn-cob pipe!
    Marge: [reading from the test box] "Ahoy, Maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you! If purple ye see, no baby thar be!"
    Homer: So, which is it? Blue or purple?
    Marge: Pink.
    Homer: D'oh!
    Marge: "If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail!"

  7. #7

    • Again! Again! Again!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    On the emergency card.
    Posts
    7,669

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    I do. But I moved out when I went to school in San Diego. I moved back home to save money and finish school (I changed my major). I began student teaching so I had no job. Waaaayyy to much work to also have to put in 40 hours. Now, I'm just waiting for a real teaching job and I'm out. I pay for most stuff, just not rent. In fact, I may be out at the end of the year. It's not uncommon with the cost of living these days.
    Founding member of the B.A. I LOVE US!!
    FratSor Sister-Delta Mu Chi Alpha ΔΜΧΑ
    I bring the magic!!!
    "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them"
    Quote Originally Posted by Reverend DMother
    Girl bonding is just so necessary. It's just as important as "me" time. A good girl bonding session leaves you feeling so refreshed. I think of it as a NEED vs a want. There are just things that you need to talk to other women with. You may have the best relationship in the world with your husband, but there are just times you need your girlfriends. It makes for a healthier and happier you which makes everything else you do better.

  8. #8

    • Princess of my own world
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Southern CA
    Posts
    1,481

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    Okay so the only reason I know about any of this is because I saw the movie "Failure to Launch" Hilarious and cute movie. But it had a special section featuring grown men who are still living at home. Some of them were helping their parents, but then some just didn't want to leave. There was a survey taken by the people in Chicago about what age is considered to be adult now, and it was 26. Which makes sense because you figure high school ends at 18, 4 years for college 22, then 4 years for grad/med school. So yeah that's all I know about it.

    I get pressured a lot to move out by a few people I know because I am 23, still live at home. But I also go to college and work part time. So I wouldn't be able to live on my own, especially here in CA.
    Visit my blog: Shutters & Scribbles

    Check out my class's Donors Choose page:
    Wildcat Projects
    **Donors Choose is a place where teachers post projects for their classes and request materials and/or technology for that project. People then can make donations starting at just $1 to help fund that project. This is a great way to support teachers and their classes!**

  9. #9

    • MiceChat Round-Up Crew
    • Get the Iodine!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    17,657
    Blog Entries
    10

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    Part of me thinks they are afraid of failure. Failure at living alone and not making rent, failure on a dating level, failure on the job scene, that they just stay in the comfort zone of the parents homes. Why the parents dont kick them out is for another thread.
    Probably because the parents don't want them leaving . My dad does not want me to move out, but when I get car insurance, a job, school out of the way, and I start making a good amount of money.....I am moving into an appartment probably. But not far away from the parents, because I am the only close family member to take care of them.

    Anyway O-Nut, I 100% agree about what you said. I think many people are afraid to move out because they may be afraid of failure or they might just be nervous about doing something new and opening up another chapter in their life.

  10. #10

    • MiceChat Round-Up Crew
    • Get the Iodine!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    17,657
    Blog Entries
    10

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpy4
    I do. But I moved out when I went to school in San Diego. I moved back home to save money and finish school (I changed my major). I began student teaching so I had no job. Waaaayyy to much work to also have to put in 40 hours. Now, I'm just waiting for a real teaching job and I'm out. I pay for most stuff, just not rent. In fact, I may be out at the end of the year. It's not uncommon with the cost of living these days.
    I 100% agree with that too.

  11. #11

    • Incognito
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    6,469
    Blog Entries
    49

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    I understand the financial aspects of it all, and the cultural aspects too, and the moving out from parents to getting married. I mean that in and of itself is a sure sign of adulthood.

    But to do it ON PURPOSE, when money OR culture isnt a factor, is what befuddles me.

    My guy friend I think is just lazy to find a full time job and has a good thing going for him. My gal friend I think is just scared of failure.

    I just think you're missing out on a lot in life if you don't go out and be your own person and have some responsibilities, like mortgages or rent. I didnt move out from my moms until I was 28 and was scared to death, but that subsided quickly and now I couldnt imagine moving back in with her on purpose. I value my alone time far too much.

    Thats the other thing, it has to be VERY hard to date when you live at home with your folks.

  12. #12

    • MiceChat Round-Up Crew
    • Get the Iodine!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    17,657
    Blog Entries
    10

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    But to do it ON PURPOSE, when money OR culture isnt a factor, is what befuddles me.
    Good point. That is true. My mom's boss has never dated and still lives with his parents as well. I don't know why.

  13. #13

    • MiceChat Moderator
    • It's SisterP Time!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Bozeman, Montana, United States
    Posts
    8,666
    Blog Entries
    9

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    My BIL(47) is in that exact situation, the only time he has not lived with his parents was:
    when he went to college the same time my husband was there and
    when he moved to Seattle when their other brother was living there.

    Currently, I find it to be a very sad, co-dependent situation. Both sides says it is so they can help the other out but the result is both sides has become very needy of each other and can't/won't make decisions or do anything without everyone being involved in the decision.

    I don't even attempt to understand it.

    For me, I would have no problem with my son moving home if the financial need or care was a deciding factor. Other than that, I would not want it - we all need to live our own lives while remaining a family. I would hate for him to miss any experiences that will come to him from living his own life.

  14. #14

    • Huh?
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Columbus, OH
    Posts
    6,808

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    Isn't there a movie about this subject coming soon?

    Or has it already came and gone?
    -Tim

  15. #15

    •   
    • Chicago Gal
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    54,524
    Blog Entries
    120

    Re: Adults, still living with their parents

    I have a cousin, who is almost my age. I am 59. She's always lived with her parents. Both of her parents passed away about three years ago. Linda, that's her name, never moved out. She lived with her parents, but she was not a freeloader. She always had a job, and contributed to the family. When her parents both became very ill, because she was the one still at home, she had to bear the burden of taking care of them. Linda has 2 brothers and one sister. They all married and had their own families. I never asked Linda about her love life.

    I talk to my cousin Linda more, now that her parents are deceased. She lived at home her entire life, and now the home that she helped her parents take care of is hers. It's been paid for, now, for quite a while. Linda has been able to buy her first car. She's living alone, and I assume that she's lonely at times. She has pets, and friends, and keeps in touch with her family. Her mom and my mother were twins. My mom is still living and hers is gone.

    In my cousin Linda's case, I think that this is the life that she chose. I give her a lot of credit for the strength and courage that she chose when both of her parents were in a nursing home at the same time, and she didn't just dump them there, she visited them, and made sure that their last days were full of grace and love.

Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Adults alone at Halloween Treat?
    By callmijane in forum Disneyland Resort
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 10-01-2007, 01:17 PM
  2. Big City Living VS. Small Town Living??
    By PrincessY in forum MiceChat Main Lounge
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: 03-28-2007, 10:25 AM
  3. PAL Mickey for adults?
    By Lady Constance Gracey in forum Walt Disney World Resort
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 09-21-2006, 04:59 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •