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  1. #1

    • Angel Fan MC Man
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    Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    Right now, I am dealing with the ramifications of depression - and doing my best to work my way through to the other side.

    At the moment I'm out of work and collecting the money I spent years paying into the state disability system. I am seeing a counselor, and am taking Wellbutrin through a prescription from my primary care doctor. My counselor thinks I've got adult attention deficit disorder, and the clutter that has become my life would bear that out. I have a prescription for ritalin, but for a man of 50-plus to get that paid for through insurance is a pain. I will soon be seeking out a psychiatrist to see if I need to have my meds adjusted. I was hoping it wouldn't have to come to that, but it has.

    My main job right now is to play house husband and tend to the needs of Kathleen, who is working but has some physical problems of her own.

    I give thanks for each and every day and every new chance. Compared to many, I have little to complain about. I just believe in being as open and honest with my MC family as I can be. Sometimes my posts can be more negative than I'd like...and that's generally when I need to just back away from the keyboard.

    I also wanted to create a space for others dealing with similar issues, to feel free to share their feelings.

    MiceChat and my many pleasant memories of Disneyland particularly, present and past, help keep me going...

    --Barry
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  2. #2

    • there's always my way...
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    Brother, Im right there with you, if you ever ever ever need an ear just PM me or whatever you need. Im fighting it as I am going through much of the same thing you are. I also battle with Anxiety and it causes insomnia. So if you ever want to chat just hit me up. you shouldnt have to go through this alone.
    Come to the dark side,
    we have cookies.

  3. #3

    • white and nerdy
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    At the risk of being a "oh! Me too!" folk, I also suffer from depression and anxiety. Sometimes it gets so bad I am too scared or depressed to go outside. I take some medication, as well as some quackish, homeopathic St. John's Wart (it may be all in my mind that I feel better, but the drepression is all in my mind as well... right?)

    Having an understanding wife really helps. I don't know how I survived before I met Beth. Micechatting can help as well.

    The thing that works the best for me is to go for a long walk. Since I work nights, on my off shifts I can walk around town all night. I live in a smallish sized city so I am alone on the streets and something about the solitude comforts me.

    I also try and think of things that are funny to me. Sometimes I post them here to make others smile... or get mad at me.. or whatever.

    So... I'm sure that this will be a somewhat popular thread for people to tell their stories and provide support.
    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert





  4. #4

    • Angel Fan MC Man
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    Mr. Doodah and T-Gel...thanks so much for the words of support. It's hard to believe that two MC'ers that provide many humorous posts, deal with these kinds of issues.

    Having said that, I've worked in radio too many years for that to surprise me.

    And I've also lived with myself too long for that to surprise me!!!

    --Barry
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  5. #5

    • pronounced, Casey Jr. 1
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    uh. anxiety, it's a pain in the buttocks if u ask me, if you didnt ask me, .

  6. #6

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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    At this point in my life I'm fortunate to have a bit of stability. But about 10 years ago that was not the case. Its a very long story, and there was a lot of stuff going on in my life to the point that I almost checked myself into a mental hospital. Seriously... it was just about that bad.

    But somehow I came out on the other side without actually doing that.

    How did I do it? There isn't one particular thing I can point to that pulled me out from of the depths of darkness I had fallen into. One thing I leaned on was music. Music has always been a very important part of my life, and sitting outside alone listening to tapes I had made with certain songs helped me during some indepth internal dialogs.

    I started keeping a journal. I know for some people this doesn't work, but I honestly think its one of the things that helped me bring out into the open the dragons that were chasing me at the time. Sometimes I wrote things out plainly, more often I wrote in a sort of code that only I would know what I was talking about, but I was talking. Maybe only to myself or to the imaginary others who would listen, but a dialog none the less.

    One of the most profound impacts on my life at the time was a book called "When Things Fall Apart." I have two copies... one I lend out and one I keep. I have my lending copy out right now, and I'm not sure where I put the other one right , but the author is a Buddist nun named pema Chodron. One of the things in the book that I have made my personal mantra is," Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation, can that which is indectructable in us be found." That right there was a major turning point in my life.

    I hope this helps somewhat... like DooDah said... if you ever just need to vent and talk... we are all here for you....




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  7. #7

    • white and nerdy
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    you know, I also find that Eastern philosophy helps greatly. I spent years training with Buddhists (more Buddhists than you may think in Utah) on ideas of meditation, discovering inner peace, understanding the nature of sorrow and suffering, and the like. Though I do not consider myself Buddhist, I feel there is a great amount of truth to be discovered through their teachings and philosophy.
    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert





  8. #8

  9. #9

    • Angel Fan MC Man
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    Quote Originally Posted by thejoshualee
    you know, I also find that Eastern philosophy helps greatly. I spent years training with Buddhists (more Buddhists than you may think in Utah) on ideas of meditation, discovering inner peace, understanding the nature of sorrow and suffering, and the like. Though I do not consider myself Buddhist, I feel there is a great amount of truth to be discovered through their teachings and philosophy.
    I have done some studying in their philosophy and have found comfort and truth in their teachings.

    Right now, to be honest, I feel very uncomfortable with myself. I have no one but myself to blame for the situation that I'm in - and I know that just about every problem I have in my life right now comes down to weight - I'm back around 400 pounds again. Quite frankly, I am very uncomfortable even going to places that usually bring me such pleasure - like DLR and Angel games, for example. When I make myself do it I have fun but feel very self-conscious.

    It just seems that there are so many things to fix, that it becomes overwhelming, and when that happens I don't do anything, and turn back to food.

    But again, thank you for the encouraging words that have helped me more than you'll know. I am very grateful for all that I have.

    And again I hope that others too can find comfort in this thread.

    --Barry
    God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

  10. #10

    • Lost Princess and Bat 861
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    Barry, we all have dark times in their lives but not every one has reached a place they are comfortable talking about it. Some believe depression is a weakness or defect; some are just so private it is hard for them to share such feelings. I've been dealing with depression since the fall of 1999. My right hand was injured at work and my life fell apart as a result. Between the lawsuit, the workman's comp issues and medical nightmares, I lost my job, my friends, even the ability to care for myself. The only things I didn't loose were my family and Bear but even those relationships were irrevocably changed. I have scars both physical and mental that will probably never totally heal. All I can say is take it day by day and remember some days will be better than others. I'm here if any of you need that friendly word on a dark day. Blessed be, Shawn
    A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
    In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

  11. #11

    • Iron-Clad Allie
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    I have shared some of your same problems, Barry...and know where you're coming from. Loss of a job can lead to self-blame, whish, in turn creates anxiety and insomnia. Psychiatrists and medication can help. But, in the long-run you simply need the support of intelligent friends who share some of your main interests and a sense of humor.

    Most of us enjoy written communication and music. So, that's an automatic therapeutic plus. Secondly, the loss of your job is not in any way your fault. The station closed, in my opinion, due to unfair immigration issues that are ultimately putting middle class (and even some upper class) citizens of all races and cultures out of work.

    Secondly you have indicated that there have been some abusive co-worker mental cases that you have had to put up with...possibly your boss(s) as well. After being thru that, the loss of a job can seem like a TKO. Well, get back up my friend. We're in there fighting right along with you.

    Our primary opponent in this life is "MASS STUPIDITY". Formidable as it is, we can kick it's stupid butt through INTELLIGENT FRIENDSHIP EN MASSE. Hang in there, buddy. We are FAMILY here.
    To Boldly Go Where No MiceChatter Has Gone Before!


  12. #12

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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    I sent you an email ,just know I care and am praying for you.

  13. #13

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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    Everything listed is right on the money. In addition, it shows that you aren't alone in your current state. That is a terrific comfort.

    I like what T-Gel mentioned about Eastern Philosophy--it's very true.

    I'd like to say your are in a down cycle--everything plays back into itself--you have at least noticed you are depressed and even merely speaking up about it illustrates a willingness to break out of the spiral.

    You mention weight--exercise, even light, lifts the spirits, fights depression and can help with self image. You mention a disability, but I'm not so sure what happened. You have, quite probably, the cutest pup this side of the mighty Mississippi--I'm thinking a brisk walk whenever you are feeling blue will help you two bond and help you recover.

    Paramount right now is you realize that depression is a thing--it may feel all consuming, but that's when you let it. I tended to look at it as a symptom and then began to fight all that helped create it.

    Back to exercise...my motivation is a higher stamina when I go to the parks. Gives me a reason to hit the gym.

    Perhaps you need some goals with positive rewards? When there is no future in sight, why go on? What is in the future? And be active about it. Saying "I want to be rid of depression" is not as good as "I will reduce my depression by going for a walk once a day and reading a positive book once a week"

    And I'll end as I started. You are a good person. No one could have a terrific wife and a terrific pup without already being worth it. And no one would have such a response as you see on this thread if he wasn't worth it.

    I'd have your over for dinner if you lived closer. We could then take our dogs for a walk!

    Most of all,
    PEACE!
    Roo
    husband, petowner, wordsmith, imagineer, martialist, playwright, traveller, ardent, wit, critic, barista, Taoist, superhero, fortuneteller, reader, fidget, teacher, dreamer, author, blogger, ghosthunter, voter, patient, bear, gourmand, Floridian, friend

  14. #14

    • pronounced, Casey Jr. 1
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    Quote Originally Posted by thejoshualee
    you know, I also find that Eastern philosophy helps greatly. I spent years training with Buddhists (more Buddhists than you may think in Utah) on ideas of meditation, discovering inner peace, understanding the nature of sorrow and suffering, and the like. Though I do not consider myself Buddhist, I feel there is a great amount of truth to be discovered through their teachings and philosophy.
    Ahh! finally. I have been interested in buddism for a while. Know nothing still, but I really want to know more about it. Any suggestions?

  15. #15

    • Just Me
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    Re: Dealing With Depression In A Positive Way

    I too am a huge sufferer of depression. My son and my mom are the only things that keep me alive. Since the death (suicide) of my husband's best friend last Sept, my marriage has been falling apart and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I am in a pretty bad place right now, but then I look at The Boy, hug him and realize how much he needs me and that helps.

    I have chemical depression, no amount of verbal therapy will help. I have done the St John's Wart, but Prozac seems to be the best solution for me. I think getting a job will also help out, take some of the financial stress off of me and enable me to make some major changes.

    Ok, enough of my issues...

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