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  1. #1

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    Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    O.k. people. The time has come. I've been dreading this for years. LDF Junior is about to turn 11 and the time has come for us to speak mano y mano about the great mysteries of life. I'm still thinking 11 is kind of young, but the wife says it's better to get all of this information before he gets the bizarre version from his friends. So....we're going fishing for the next couple of days to spend some quality father/son time together and to.....talk. Have you all done this already? Is it a piece of cake? I just hope I can actually put everything into words. Using REAL words. I can just see myself burning up two hours saying..." You see son, first the guy....that is to say he....um...has this thingy and ....um....then the girl....um.....and then a baby is born." My son will stare at me politely and then ask what's on T.V. Isn't there a nice dvd that explains it all? No...I mean....a pg-13 version? I remember watching a disney film with Jiminy Cricket many years ago which explained.....absolutely nothing.

    Any helpful hints? Or did you just skip it altogether?

  2. #2

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    wow I had the talk with my girl from the time she was little. she heard so much crap from school all the time that I decided a long time ago to tell her in parts she could understand. Boys, girls, love, hates, sex and having children. She knows more then most kids so when they com up with crap she says " you need to talk with your mom, or dad your info is not correct. she is also 11. I wanted her to not believe all that crap kids come up with .She is very well rounded ( ask many who have met here from this board) Good luck hon, do not be afraid and do your best to make him feel comfortable. you will do fine ( or I can ask my daughter to email him

  3. #3

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Quote Originally Posted by localdisnyfan
    O.k. people. The time has come. I've been dreading this for years. LDF Junior is about to turn 11 and the time has come for us to speak mano y mano about the great mysteries of life. I'm still thinking 11 is kind of young, but the wife says it's better to get all of this information before he gets the bizarre version from his friends. So....we're going fishing for the next couple of days to spend some quality father/son time together and to.....talk. Have you all done this already? Is it a piece of cake? I just hope I can actually put everything into words. Using REAL words. I can just see myself burning up two hours saying..." You see son, first the guy....that is to say he....um...has this thingy and ....um....then the girl....um.....and then a baby is born." My son will stare at me politely and then ask what's on T.V. Isn't there a nice dvd that explains it all? No...I mean....a pg-13 version? I remember watching a disney film with Jiminy Cricket many years ago which explained.....absolutely nothing.

    Any helpful hints? Or did you just skip it altogether?
    ask him, "son what do you know " first. he may suprise you. Then you can fill in the gaps or fix what he is off on

  4. #4

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    we were actuallly put through a class in the 5th grade to learn the facts.....

  5. #5

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Quote Originally Posted by hakuna makarla
    ask him, "son what do you know " first. he may suprise you. Then you can fill in the gaps or fix what he is off on
    I think this is your best bet. Whatever you do, try to use as many clinical terms as you can. Don't say what my mom said, " The boy puts his weenie in your privates and moves it around a bit."
    "He who knows only his own side of the case, knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them. But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side; if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion" --John Stuart Mill




  6. #6

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Quote Originally Posted by tbminnie
    I think this is your best bet. Whatever you do, try to use as many clinical terms as you can. Don't say what my mom said, " The boy puts his weenie in your privates and moves it around a bit."

    wow......pretty blunt

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Please please don't try to find any of those terrible films they used to show in school.
    I had a friend whose father was a pastor and he had a whole collection of those videos and every one of them was useless.
    In later years we used them as comic fodder during parties. Becasue, they may suck and not explain anything but they are great for MST3K bits
    I will save the princess, though I do not know the way.

  8. #8

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Quote Originally Posted by tbminnie
    I think this is your best bet. Whatever you do, try to use as many clinical terms as you can. Don't say what my mom said, " The boy puts his weenie in your privates and moves it around a bit."
    OMG thats hilarious and so wrong! your mom must be a hoot

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hilsbro_Mclemington_III
    we were actuallly put through a class in the 5th grade to learn the facts.....
    yes, the class my daughter went thru was very explicite. I am thinking your son knows more then you think ask him, and find out, he may suprise you .

  10. #10

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Like Karla said defintely ask what he knows first. That's usually a good jumping off point to determine where the conversation is going to go. I went through this at the beginning of the school year last year with my 12-in-less-than-a-month year old It went well and now he does really well coming to me and asking me things, better than me with the answers anyways Good Luck!



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  11. #11

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Be VERY careful explaining it to your kid...this was the most EMBARASSING thing I EVER went through in my life...absoulotly terrible.. Just explain that everything is normal, they have TONS of movies about it that wouls help, but remember, if you feel uncomfortable doing it, schools are required to teach health between in 7th geade or either 9,10,11 or 12th. Just go easy on him..or her
    Again be very careful not to embarass them, Good luck!

  12. #12

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    i agree with karla also

  13. #13

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    Yeah if you find out first how much and what he already knows and needs to know you can save yourself a lot of grief and embarassement.

    Many years ago, when my daughter was very young.. 5,6.. I don't remember exactly, she came to me while I was... in the "library", sat on the floor and proceeded to tell me she had a "hole" pointing to her crotch...

    I'm thinking... she's been looking in the mirror, exploring..who knows. Well being the kind, understanding, supportive mother I was I proceeded to explain in very basic terms about babys and how they grow and where they come out...

    My daughter gave me a highly annoyed look and said, "NO! I have a hole in my pajamas!!"

    Yeah... there is such a thing as to much information.


    But seriously... just be honest, as honest as you can. It will get to a point where he will be pushing the overload point.. then change the subject for a while and later come back after he's had time to digest everything and see if he has any questions or is ready to know more.




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  14. #14

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    I talked to my child about such things her entire life. I even showed her how to properly put a condom on....just in case. Of course I would have prefered she wait, but I'm wasn't naive enough to believe she would....I have also always used proper names for body parts around her since she was a toddeler....so we never had the talk...like at a certain age, but we have discussed that and alot of other things plenty her entire life...

  15. #15

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    Re: Need advice: It's time for.....the talk! No...THE talk!

    wow....pengi.....that is just akward....well at least she knew...and you had no trouble telling her


    and SCUBAbe....that is a pretty nice approach......pee-pee....and woo-woo....are actually akward.....i could not ever think of having to tell a kid bout the birds and the bees.....

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