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  1. #1

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    $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Okay I need another persons opinion, since I am about to choke my BF.

    My new job hours are from 8-5 M-F. Currently I am working 8:30-5:30.

    With having to get to work by 8am I can no longer drop my daughter off at 7:30am and get to work on time so I told my BF he would have to start taking her.

    He started saying how he would lose his job and how he would be late every day and it would be reflect poorly on him. Here is the problem,

    If I leave at 7:10am every morning, I get C to school at 7:30am for breakfast and then I get to work around 8:05ish. Now granted I drive about 20 miles to work every day so that's about right.

    He however works 3.2 miles from C's school and has to be there at 8am to start his shift. Now we can't drop her off any earlier than 7:30 am because there is no one at the school before then.

    So he wants me to crank out 400 extra bucks a month out to pay for before and after school care when right now its costing us NOTHING to have her at the rec center now.

    See everyday Phil takes his 30 minute lunch and picks her up and takes her to the rec center because they don't provide transportation to and from the school.

    His main complaint is he believes he will be late to work everyday dropping her off at 730am because it will take him longer than 30 minutes to get to work. He also piped up that sometimes C gives us a hard time in the morning getting her up and I suggested that since I will have to leave earlier to get to work on time, that I would wake her up with me and get her ready so he can take her to school in the mornings.

    The only OTHER alternative is she can take the bus in the morning but then she doesn't get breakfast at school and would have to eat at home. (Really not a big deal but why not take advantage of the free breakfast at school?)

    So is he being unreasonable? He firmly believes that if he has to do this he will lose his job. I honestly have been doing crap like this on my own for years now before we got together and its just been the things that need to get done, so I did them. I think he is being whiney but on the same token I don't want him to jeopardize his job either. However, I think he is grossly exaggerating his points.

    So we can either put her on the bus in the morning and he still picks her up in the afternoon OR I can shell out about 400 bucks a month to put her in before and after school care.

    Any thoughts?

  2. #2

    • I'm your huckleberry.
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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Wow, what kind of traffic do you have if it takes him 30 minutes to drive 3.2 miles?????

    Maybe your boyfriend doesn't want the extra responsibility of getting your daughter off to school when he's already taking care of her needs vis a vie getting to the rec center.

    My suggestion.... have her take the bus, and eat breakfast at home. No one has to switch their schedules, no one feels like they have extra work, and I'll guarantee she'll have a healthier breakfast than what they usually serve at the schools (at least around here!).

    Quote Originally Posted by Senator David Wu (D-OR)
    Don't let faux-klingons send real Americans to war!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheHousingBubbleBlog
    Everyone says that the U.S. doesn’t make anything anymore, but that’s not exactly true. We’re the world leader in the manufacturing of bull****.

  3. #3

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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    The only OTHER alternative is she can take the bus in the morning but then she doesn't get breakfast at school and would have to eat at home. (Really not a big deal but why not take advantage of the free breakfast at school?)
    you mean shew can ride the bus ? if so let her take the bus, and feed her before she goes. cereal and milk is way cheaper then fighting and you both will not have to fight. if she can take the bus, then by all means I would do it. School breakfasts are fun, but at home it takes like 15 minutes to eat a bolw of cereal. my choice so you two do not argue, put C on the bus

  4. #4

    • xmanmom
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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Would it really take him 30 minutes to drive 3.2 miles from her school to his work? I don't see how or why he would be late. I think he needs to suck it up and take her. But maybe I misunderstood.

    I posted at the same time as others above, but I agree, to save conflict maybe the bus would be the best option.

  5. #5

    • Mexihick, y'all
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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    I say he gives it a test run, then decide whether he's late or not. As of now, he just sounds like he's being lazy.

  6. #6

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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Quote Originally Posted by Hyperbole View Post
    Wow, what kind of traffic do you have if it takes him 30 minutes to drive 3.2 miles?????
    It's downtown Tampa traffic near the airport, yes it stinks, yes it takes me an hour to go what normally would be a 15 minute drive without but that's rush hour for you.

    So I am going to test something tomorrow, I am going to drop her off at 7:30 and then drive to his work to see how long it takes me.

    However, I think the bus is probably our best option at this point.

    Thanks for the input, all my coworkers think he just doesn't want to suck it up and do it and I think that way as well but I am trying to be fair here.

  7. #7

    • Mexihick, y'all
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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Word of advice...he probably won't be very happy knowing you have polled internet strangers, co-workers, then drove his route to verify whether it does or does not take that time. Walk a fine line with this.

  8. #8

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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Really Summer, kids love the bus, I know my kids do. he is young, and no kids between you two yet. since you both are going to be C's parents, I would try to make it the least bit hectic for him now until he adjusts and falls into the roll better. he sounds like a good man ( you have spoken about him often) and just to not argue about it, and let c become more self reliant, let her take the bus and feed her breakfast.

    Hey, you two have plans for a new baby some day ( I would love to see you both have one together

  9. #9

    • xmanmom
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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Quote Originally Posted by migo View Post
    Word of advice...he probably won't be very happy knowing you have polled internet strangers, co-workers, then drove his route to verify whether it does or does not take that time. Walk a fine line with this.
    migo has a good point, it could cause even deeper problems if you push this too hard.

  10. #10

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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Quote Originally Posted by migo View Post
    Word of advice...he probably won't be very happy knowing you have polled internet strangers, co-workers, then drove his route to verify whether it does or does not take that time. Walk a fine line with this.
    yeah, I would say this should be kept quiet.

  11. #11

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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Quote Originally Posted by hakuna makarla View Post
    yeah, I would say this should be kept quiet.

    I planned on it.

    Why pay a therapist, just poll the internet!

  12. #12

    • Mexihick, y'all
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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    But then you really don't have a leg to stand on, and will get more frustrated. You've polled people who agree with you, but you can't say what you have done...so you get more pissed inside.

  13. #13

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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Quote Originally Posted by migo View Post
    But then you really don't have a leg to stand on, and will get more frustrated. You've polled people who agree with you, but you can't say what you have done...so you get more pissed inside.


    LOL I'm not that...what's the word? I don't know, I just don't stay angry very long, especially with something like this. I am the type of person however, depending on the situation, will tell you to leave me alone for 10 minutes so I can think about this. I have the sense to know that I can't really think straight when I'm pissed off, so I go cool off and come back and weigh the situation openly. Took me a long time to get to that point though.

  14. #14

    • xmanmom
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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Quote Originally Posted by SummerInFL View Post
    LOL I'm not that...what's the word? I don't know, I just don't stay angry very long, especially with something like this. I am the type of person however, depending on the situation, will tell you to leave me alone for 10 minutes so I can think about this. I have the sense to know that I can't really think straight when I'm pissed off, so I go cool off and come back and weigh the situation openly. Took me a long time to get to that point though.
    I still don't think I am quite there yet! *sigh*

  15. #15

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    Re: $400 a month vs. FREE??

    Since my memory is shot, I can not stay mad for more then a few days, I forget why I am mad ( this is true!

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