View Poll Results: Are RSVPs necessary?

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  • Yes

    56 91.80%
  • No

    0 0%
  • It Depends (Please explain below.)

    5 8.20%
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  1. #1

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    RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Hi everyone,

    Flustered with wedding stuff, I've experienced a problem with RSVPs. So, I'm trying to determine if they're really an important part of invitations anymore, or not a big deal, and that everyone invited should be counted as attending?

    What are your thoughts on this?

  2. #2

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    I thought they were used more for the reception. So you know how many people will be eating and whatnot.
    "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "Groucho Marx

  3. #3

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by frecky View Post
    I thought they were used more for the reception. So you know how many people will be eating and whatnot.
    Ours is for both.

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Ok, I know from my own wedding, the RSVPs were important cause we needed to know how many people we had to pay for for the reception. So, in that sense, yes they are important. If you're getting married somewhere that you are concerned about the capacity level at (like they only allow 40 and you have that or more) then yes.
    Did that make sense?
    "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "Groucho Marx

  5. #5

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by frecky View Post
    I thought they were used more for the reception. So you know how many people will be eating and whatnot.
    I agree. People normally send out invitations for weddings to people they want to attend and they usually do not send out more than the seating capacity the place offers.

    RSVPs are for receptions so you can make sure there is enough food, drinks, etc. for everyone.

    Weddings, you just send out invitations and see who shows up.

  6. #6

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Whenever I have a party, I ask people to only RSVP, when they are not attending. I include my phone number. People can always drop someone a note, if they don't want to call. I just think that it is polite to let people know, when you are not coming. Otherwise, I assume they are. Most people are fine with this. Of course, then you have the occasional few who just don't show up, and don't call. It's just the way people are.
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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyphile View Post
    Ours is for both.
    Quote Originally Posted by frecky View Post
    Ok, I know from my own wedding, the RSVPs were important cause we needed to know how many people we had to pay for for the reception. So, in that sense, yes they are important. If you're getting married somewhere that you are concerned about the capacity level at (like they only allow 40 and you have that or more) then yes.
    Did that make sense?
    Oh okay, yeah I agree with Frecky then .

    I wish you the best DP .

  8. #8

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Yes, I was invited recently and it was very important for the people to know exactly how many people were coming by a certain date.

    Often, if you expect a certain number and book for that, and someone doesn't turn up, you may still get stuck with the bill. RSVPs for at least a few weeks before the Big Date are definitely a good idea.
    I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks


  9. #9

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Quote Originally Posted by Loomis View Post
    Often, if you expect a certain number and book for that, and someone doesn't turn up, you may still get stuck with the bill. RSVPs for at least a few weeks before the Big Date are definitely a good idea.
    Yep. This happened with us. Lets say I was not a happy bride when people who RSVP'd didnt show.
    "I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. "Groucho Marx

  10. #10

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    It is HORRIBLY rude to not RSVP for a wedding.

    And unless you come down with the uncontrollable hershey squirts or other true emergency, it is HORRIBLY rude to RSVP and then not show up. (And even then you need to call and offer your profuse apologies before not showing up).

    I don't know, perhaps sometimes people have a "just in case they forgot to RSVP" table at the wedding?

    Honestly, the people that didn't RSVP -- maybe I'd make one attempt to contact them, and if no response then, then I'd count them out.

    But yes, it is rude to not RSVP for anything, let alone a wedding.
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  11. #11

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Very important to have RSVP's coming in. And even after that, make sure you book another 20 or so meals for those who bring unwanted guests or show up without RSVP'ing.

  12. #12

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    Yes, RSVP. Whether its a yes or no, it's only polite to let the people know if you are going to be there or not. And hello! The return envelope is usually always postmarked! How difficult is it to mark up the RSVP and send it back!

    One of the things I hate most about having a party is not having people let me know if they are coming or not. So am I to assume that if they didnt RSVP then they are not coming? Thats what I assume. Then 9 times out of 10 POOF they show up. Irritating!

  13. #13

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    DP - I think if you went through all the trouble to think of them, send them an invitiation, and invite them to your wedding, the LEAST they can do is respond. I'm sure you have attendance numbers you have to supply to the venue and caterers, etc. You're probably also so busy it's hard for you to follow up with everyone.
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  14. #14

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    My wife and I got married in Florida 1000 miles from her family and 2500 from mine. If we hadn't had RSVP's we could have either assumed that 100 people or 2 people were coming. It gave us a great idea on what to book.
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  15. #15

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    Re: RSVPs - An Etiquette Poll

    For weddings, absolutely! Especially these days when the bride and groom are paying for the wedding themselves, it is so rude to not RSVP, RSVP and not show, or not RSVP and then show anyway. So not considerate when food or any kind of "per person" thing is going on.

    For other events, I usually ask for "regrets only", and that's when you can assume that if you haven't heard, that guest WILL be attending. It makes a simdgen less work for those attending.
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