From a normally staid blog by a scientist comes a detailed essay about the tiers of candy:
"Although there were some intra-family disputes about what belongs where, we did derive a basic candy hierachy, and I do think it is basically sound. This taxonomy is based on years of research and debate, on thorough testing and re-testing, on statistical comparison and quality measurement, on focus group testing, and on a series of FTIR scans that reveal various hydrocarbon peaks and whatnot.
In other words, this is sound science.
Here's what we've found, with uncertainties acknowledged:
(not suprisingly, exclusively chocolate-based) Milly Way --- Snickers --- Peanut M&M's --- Regular M&Ms --- Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Junior Mints --- regular old Hershey Bars* --- Twix
(also exclusively chocolate, after fending off a few intruders) Kit-Kat* --- Nestle Crunch --- Almond Joy --- Mounds --- Tootsie Rolls* --- Dark Chocolate Hershey Bars --- Fair Trade Chocolate
(also referred to as the chewy range or, in some circles, the Upper Chewy or Upper Devonian) Milk Duds --- Starburst --- Jolly Ranchers (if a good flavor) --- 100 Grand Bar
(the Lower Chewy and Gummy-Based, also the Middle Crunchy Tart Layer) Dots --- Lollipops --- Nerds --- Whoppers --- Swedish Fish -- Gummy Bears straight up --- Licorice -- Anything from Brach's --- Hard Candy --- Bubble Gum --- LemonHeads --- LaffyTaffy --- Including the Chiclets (but not the erasers) --- Jolly Ranchers (if a bad flavor) --- Black Jacks --- Bottle Caps --- Smarties
Tier so low it does not register on our equipment Healthy Fruit --- Pencils --- Lapel Pins --- Extra Strength Tylenol
*These indicate the intra-family disputes. For example, I would keep Kit-Kat where it is, while other unnamend members of the family demand that it be given Top Tier Classification. That same other unnamed member of the family would not put Tootsie Rolls as a top-tier get, though I would've. Shockingly, there was no unanimous decision on the placement of Candy Corn, which as of 2006 remains to be classified."