Results 1 to 14 of 14
  1. #1

    • ...is fading out....
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    13,449
    Blog Entries
    3

    Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    THIS IS SORT OF LONG, BUT I HAD TO SHARE THIS - EVERYONE NEEDS A LAUGH
    They're Back! Church Bulletins.
    Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.
    These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins
    or were announced in church services:


    -------------------------------------------------------
    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
    The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall.
    Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
    not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
    due to a conflict.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
    Smile at someone who is hard to love.
    Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again,"
    giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    For those of you who have children and don't know it,
    we have a nursery downstairs.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
    They need all the help they can get.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
    "Break Forth Into Joy."
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
    Music will follow.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, "What Is Hell?"
    Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new
    members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
    Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment,
    and gracious hostility.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
    They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
    Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
    invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him
    their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
    Please use the back door.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
    basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
    Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

  2. #2

    • MiceChat Round-Up Crew
    • Gumball Rally Volunteer!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Stanton, California, United States
    Posts
    2,484

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    Happy Anniversary, MiceChat!

  3. #3

    • ...is fading out....
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    13,449
    Blog Entries
    3

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    Not sure what your 'link' there was.........clicked on it and took me to a screen to log in to MiceChat.

  4. #4

    • MiceChat Round-Up Crew
    • Gumball Rally Volunteer!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Stanton, California, United States
    Posts
    2,484

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    Maybe you should log in?
    Happy Anniversary, MiceChat!

  5. #5

    • And they call me Mad!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Your Mind
    Posts
    10,962
    Blog Entries
    4

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    What an idiot....

    Yeah, I do that Twitter thing.


  6. #6

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Within 78 miles of WDW...
    Posts
    8,864

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    "you do not have permission to view this thread, it could be because your name is figment and we dont want you to see"

    wow.. great customized blocking message...

    oh.. brilliant thread...

  7. #7

    •   
    • Dept. 41 and Club 55
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Planet Selectro, in the Andromeda galaxy
    Posts
    2,038

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)


  8. #8

    • MiceChat Round-Up Crew
    • Gumball Rally Volunteer!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Stanton, California, United States
    Posts
    2,484

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    The reason why you guys can't see it is because I posted basically the same thing a few weeks ago, but in the DMCA.

    You guys can't view it unless you're signed up for MC Gold. Sorry about that. I forgot it WAS in the DMCA...thought it was in the open forums.

    Carry on, carry on...
    Happy Anniversary, MiceChat!

  9. #9

    • ...is fading out....
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    13,449
    Blog Entries
    3

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    No worries! It's cool.

  10. #10

    • MiceChat Round-Up Crew
    • Get the Iodine!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Here
    Posts
    17,657
    Blog Entries
    10

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
    They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.



  11. #11

    • Senior Minion
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Just around the riverbend
    Posts
    8,057

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    Those are some good ones. It's amazing what a letter or two will do to a message.


  12. #12

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    well thats none of your buisness
    Posts
    25,263

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Demigod View Post
    Maybe you should log in?
    I thought they were hilarious!! In fact I added a few to my sig line. thank you Disneydaddy

    I see you posted the same thing, both you guys made my day

  13. #13

    • Can't stop the rock.
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    In the state of confusion.
    Posts
    2,398

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Disneyland Daddy View Post
    The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing:
    "Break Forth Into Joy."
    ----------------------------------------------------
    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be, "What Is Hell?"

    Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
    Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

    ----------------------------------------------------
    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.

    They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are
    invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
    ----------------------------------------------------

    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
    basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
    Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
    I like these the best!

    Great thread idea Disneydad!



  14. #14

    • love my friends
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    canadian living in las vegas, nv
    Posts
    36,995

    Re: Church Bulletin Bloopers - LAUGH :)

    funny..................

    Friends for life

Similar Threads

  1. Movie Bloopers?
    By ladydragon55 in forum MiceChat News Archive
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 05-31-2007, 07:16 AM
  2. Movie Bloopers?
    By ladydragon55 in forum Disneyland Resort
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05-30-2007, 05:00 AM
  3. Space Mountain Bloopers & Blunders 7/15
    By WRDup in forum Disneyland Resort
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-16-2005, 09:49 PM
  4. Bloopers in Disney Animation
    By Mickey's Friend in forum MiceChat News Archive
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-11-2005, 09:27 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •