Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Actual Epitaphs

  1. #1

    • My laughing place
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Pretty close to Disneyland
    Posts
    789

    Actual Epitaphs

    These are actual epitaphs found in cemeteries:

    FOUND ON HEADSTONES
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ******
    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903-Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
    car was on the way down. It was.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* ******
    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up
    And no place to go.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    In a London, England cemetery:
    Here lies Ann Mann,
    Who lived an old maid
    But died an old Mann.
    Dec. 8, 1767
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
    Anna Wallace:
    The children of Israel wanted bread,
    And the Lord sent them manna.
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
    Here lies Johnny Yeast.
    Pardon me
    For not rising.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
    Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
    Stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
    Here lays The Kid.
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger
    But slow on the draw.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    A lawyer's epitaph in England:
    Sir John Strange.
    Here lies an honest lawyer,
    And that is Strange.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    John Penny's epitaph in Wimborne, England, cemetery:
    Reader, if cash thou art
    In want of any,
    Dig 6 feet deep;
    And thou wilt find a Penny.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
    On the 22nd of June,
    Jonathan Fiddle
    Went out of tune.
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
    Here lies the body of our Anna -
    Done to death by a banana.
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
    But the skin of the thing that made her go
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    Under the sod and under the trees,
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod.
    Pease shelled out and went to God
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    In a cemetery in England:
    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I.
    As I am now, you soon will be.
    Prepare yourself and follow me.

    To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
    To follow you I'll not consent
    Until I know which way you went
    ************ ********* ********* ********* *******
    Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
    Here lies Lester Moore
    One slug from a 44
    No Les
    No More


    Mark

    Contribute to my Johari or start your own!!
    http://kevan.org/johari?view=MarkS01



  2. #2

    • Hooterville, USA
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    The Haney House
    Posts
    10,147

    Re: Actual Epitaphs

    Those were funny. We need more of that here.


    This has been a Filmways presentation dahling.

  3. #3

    • Still wants to be a cat!
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    2.4 Miles from Disneyland
    Posts
    7,149

    Re: Actual Epitaphs

    Thanks for the giggle!
    Mom, remember, it's not what a person is like on the outside that counts,
    it's what they are like in their HEART!


    - Wolfette

  4. #4

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Temecula, California
    Posts
    9,153

    Re: Actual Epitaphs

    These can't be real.

  5. #5

    • Banned User
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    well thats none of your buisness
    Posts
    25,263

    Re: Actual Epitaphs

    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
    Anna Wallace:
    The children of Israel wanted bread,
    And the Lord sent them manna.
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna.



    way to funny!!! I loved reading these !!!

  6. #6

    • Member
    • Offline

    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Modesto, CA
    Posts
    345

    Re: Actual Epitaphs

    Here are a couple more good ones:

    In a cemetery in Vermont:

    Sacred to the memory of
    My husband
    John Barnes
    Who died January 3, 1803.
    His comely young widow, aged 23,
    has many qualifications of a good wife,
    and yearns to be comforted.


    in England somewhere:

    Jedediah Goodwin
    Auctioneer
    Born 1828
    Going!
    Going!!
    Gone!!!
    1876

Similar Threads

  1. Create your own epitaphs
    By Disney Wrassler in forum MiceChat Main Lounge
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 11-01-2006, 09:20 AM
  2. Epitaphs.... Creepy- Cool- Fun!
    By DMof2 in forum MiceChat Main Lounge
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 10-28-2005, 11:19 AM
  3. I'm an Actual Loser
    By Murphy in forum MiceChat Main Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 10-21-2005, 08:20 PM
  4. Actual Hours...
    By Cap'n Jack in forum Disneyland Resort
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-04-2005, 01:05 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •