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  1. #31

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    This may get deleted by the mods because it is somewhat dirty if you understand...So If people find it inappropriate notify me and I will remove it.

    What is green and smells like ham?

    Spoiler
    Kermit the Frog's Finger
    "Pain is temporary, Film is Forever..."

    http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyDude




  2. #32

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    A few more blonde jokes:

    BLONDE ON THE SUN
    A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
    Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said,
    "We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what?
    We're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the
    American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't
    land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
    To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
    going at night!"

    IN A VACUUM

    A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
    turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
    Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls
    your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then
    asked, "Is it on or off?"

    AND FINALLY ...............

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
    dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded
    by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her
    friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
    HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"

  3. #33

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub" "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
    -Tim

  4. #34

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    All of these jokes are great. Keeps me entertained while I'm at work.

  5. #35

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    Quote Originally Posted by FrumiousBoojum View Post
    During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub" "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup." "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
    That one made me laugh.
    "Pain is temporary, Film is Forever..."

    http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyDude




  6. #36

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?

    Spoiler
    Money
    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpee View Post
    I only care for Disney bling!

  7. #37

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck44 View Post
    What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?

    Spoiler
    Money
    I love those kinds...Gets the mind thinking of something else
    "Pain is temporary, Film is Forever..."

    http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyDude




  8. #38

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    Quote Originally Posted by DisneyDude2006 View Post
    This may get deleted by the mods because it is somewhat dirty if you understand...So If people find it inappropriate notify me and I will remove it.

    What is green and smells like ham?

    Spoiler
    Kermit the Frog's Finger

    *gouges out my minds eye*

    Scary mental place, scary mental place!

  9. #39

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?


    Spoiler

    They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpee View Post
    I only care for Disney bling!

  10. #40

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck44 View Post
    What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?


    Spoiler

    They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!!
    He he he that's pretty good.
    "Pain is temporary, Film is Forever..."

    http://www.youtube.com/user/DisneyDude




  11. #41

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    What is motherless, fatherless,
    Born without skin,
    Spoke one word
    And never spoke again?

    Spoiler
    a fart
    Quote Originally Posted by Grumpee View Post
    I only care for Disney bling!

  12. #42

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    A Bit naughty...

    Spoiler
    Four nuns go to heaven and as they get to the pearly gates St. Peter presides over them and says, "Now usually we ask people here if they have any last sins they want to confess before going before Him, but since you are nuns, you have presumably lived a rather sin-free life. Nonetheless, this is your time to confess anything you have hanging over your head." So the first nun walks up and says, "Well, I have to confess that one day, while cleaning out the priests' quarters, I walked into one of the rooms without knocking and, well...I saw the priest's penis." Ashamed, she bowed her head and waited for a response. St. Peter replies, "No problem at all daughter of God, just cleanse your eyes in the fountain of purity and all will be forgiven." The second nun then steps forward and says, "I, too, have something similar I must get off my chest. You see, while cleaning out the priests' quarters I also forgot to knock, saw the priest naked, but .... I could not resist....I touched the priest's penis." Completely embarrassed in front of her peers and St. Peter, she bowed and waited for her judgment. St. Peter calmed the nun and replied, "Do not fret child, merely cleanse your hands in the fountain of purity and all will be forgiven." Before the third nun can step forward, the nun behind her starts to pull her and shove her away, attempting to get in front of her. St. Peter, rather surprised with the nun's actions pleads the nun to stop and explain herself. So the last nun says, "Oh St. Peter, I only wanted to gargle the water from the fountain of purity before she has to sit in it!""
    -----------------------------------------------
    DISNEYLAND: Greatest Man-Made Place On Earth

    YOSEMITE NATIONAL PARK: Greatest *GOD-Made Place On Earth

  13. #43

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    What's brown and sits in the woods?

    Spoiler
    Winnie's Pooh

  14. #44

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    Quote Originally Posted by Barbossa View Post
    What's brown and sits in the woods?

    Spoiler
    Winnie's Pooh
    What a silly, willy, nilly, crappy ol' joke. Here's another stinker...

    Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
    A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.
    To Boldly Go Where No MiceChatter Has Gone Before!


  15. #45

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    Re: Got a Good Joke? We all need a laugh from time to time...

    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick.
    A signature should go here.

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