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  1. #1

    • This is my car, Stitch :)
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    Talking Anger Management

    Here's a funny e-mail I received, hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did.



    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

    I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f...ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelle d "You're an *******!"
    and hu ng up. I wrote his number down with the word '*******' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an *******!"
    It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*******'
    calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
    He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

    I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an *******!" and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been&n bsp; waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale " sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

    A couple of days later, right after calling the first ******* (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW *******, too.
    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

    He said, "Yes, it is."

    I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

    He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."

    I asked, "What's your name?"
    He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"

    I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

    He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

    I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    He said, "Yes?"

    I said, "Don, you're an *******!"

    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.

    Then I came up with an idea. I called ******* 1.

    He said, "Hello."
    I said, "You're an *******!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?"
    I said, "Yeah,"
    He screamed, " Stop calling me,"

    I said, "Make me,"

    He asked, "Who are you?"

    I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
    He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    I said, "*******, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******," and hung up.

    Then I called ******* ..2.
    He said, "Hello?"

    I said, "Hello, *******,"

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    I said, "You'll what?"

    He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ***,"

    I answered, "Well, *******, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover

    Then I called Channel 7News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd.
    in Fairfax .

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I go t there just in time to watch two *******s beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

    NOW I feel much better

    Anger management really does work.

  2. #2

    • Minion
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    Re: Anger Management

    Love it!

  3. #3

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    Re: Anger Management

    I needed this today. Thanks.

  4. #4

    • This is my car, Stitch :)
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    Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by pratt55 View Post
    I needed this today. Thanks.
    You know you want to try this out, don't you? I know I do!

  5. #5

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    Re: Anger Management

    Awesome!

  6. #6

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    Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by Experiment626 View Post
    You know you want to try this out, don't you? I know I do!

    Actually the "tell lies" thread is just as benificial!

  7. #7

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    Re: Anger Management

    A flaming bag of dog **** on the idiot's front porch always does it for me.

  8. #8

    • This is my car, Stitch :)
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    Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by samsma View Post
    Actually the "tell lies" thread is just as benificial!

  9. #9

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    Re: Anger Management

    ok, that was hilarious!

  10. #10

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    Re: Anger Management

    Quote Originally Posted by Experiment626 View Post
    You know you want to try this out, don't you? I know I do!
    I would love to except for caller ID. We were one of the first ones in our area to get it and one day we got a crank call. I immediately called the number back as it was one of my son's friends and told him that I was psychic and that I knew he had just tried to prank my house. BUT if there was no caller ID I might be convienced to try some anger managerment.

  11. #11

    • 333: I'm only half evil!!
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    Re: Anger Management

    AP Holder.
    Stay at home mom of 4 - Austin, Tyler, Sierra and Ashlyn.



  12. #12

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    Re: Anger Management

    this was sooooo hilarious thanks for mkaing my day

    Friends for life

  13. #13

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    Re: Anger Management

    Love it!!!!!!! I had read it before, but it still makes my day.
    Press today is so concerned with cool vs. not cool that they're starting to forget good vs. bad. I'm not sure I'll ever be "cool", but I will always tirelessly strive to be "great". - Josh Groban

  14. #14

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    Re: Anger Management

    That was awesome.
    "All our dreams can come true.....if we have the courage to pursue them."
    - Walt Disney

  15. #15

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    Re: Anger Management

    Hahahahah. That was awesome. I would totally love to be able to do that. hahahaha.

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