Well, I'm completely stressed......about everything. Finances...my health, my son, my wife.....finances.....my job.....etc.
I think the last 7 months or so have been pretty wild. I mean let's look back:
Oct 06 - I become a father
Nov 06 - I get diagnosed with cancer
Jan 07 - cancer treatment begins/ I go on medical disability
Jan 07 - wife resigns from job in order to now take care of me as well as our newborn son
Jan 07 - my car falls apart
Jan 07 - wife's grandmother diagnosed with cancer
Feb-May 07 - getting through the various treatments has been a bear - not fun - energy level plummets
May 07 - I get hospitalized for 5 days because of pneumonia
May 07 - bills are piling up - medical bills, credit card bills(which we have not used frivolously, but get the necessities of life, like a new 'big boy' carseat for my son, clothes when he needs them...gas for the car etc and so on).
I don't mean to complain - I have gone through all of the above mentioned stuff with a smile on my face. I really have. People comment on how I have taken this all so well, but the fact of the matter is, I can't take it anymore. It's so difficult - and wife and I are thinking that we may need to move in with my folks to get a handle on all of it otherwise we'll be out on the street. On top of all of this, I have heard negative stuff about my company - possible lay offs and such - and I am on medical leave, so how does that affect me? And if I lose my job and then my medical insurance, am I insurable elsewhere because of my cancer? I am going stir crazy at times thinking about this. Not even a bowl of ice cream makes me feel better anymore. On top of all of that, we need another car....sheesh...it's like a snowball that's turned into an avalanche.
So, during my time off, I have been searching for another job....and so forth.
Anyway.......I feel somewhat better just VENTING here. I do appreciate it....so much has been thrown my way in the past months and it's getting really rough..........and I don't know if I can smile anymore.