I was originally going to just put this thread in the Elphaba club, but after thinking about it, I thought this thread might actually HELP the general public in knowing our stories, so I decided to make it public.
Today is my 10 year coming out birthday! Hence the reason I wanted to start this thread.
It was Friday, June 27, 1997. I was living in Burbank and had basically come out to myself a couple months prior. Oh I always knew I was one of "them" (see, being closeted means you can't say "I'm gay", even to yourself, at least in my eyes), but growing up Catholic with parents that were much older, I could NEVER be who I was deep down.
I had basically decided "OK, I'm gay, but I won't live the life of a gay man, I'll just be some non sexual entity and be alone forever". Until Ellen came out.
Cliche? Probably. But when she came out and announced to the world she was gay, I thought hey, if this famous and loved woman can do this, then why the hell can't I? Other celebrities had come out before her, but for some reason, Ellen coming out was at the right time for me.
Plus, I had my 30th birthday coming up, and had told myself that I was going to come out as a gay man BEFORE I turned the big 3-0. I wasn't going to enter my 30's living a lie. Not after wasting my 20's pretending to be someone I wasn't, hiding who I was, and eventually giving myself a bleeding ulcer because of it.
So, after hanging out with my friend Sandra for the evening, at 9:15pm (yes I remember the time, I made mental note of it, this was a life changing event!) while sitting on the sofa in the apartment, I came out to her. She was the first person I ever uttered those 2 words to, and I instantly felt the burden of hiding and pretending to be someone I was not, lifted off of my shoulders.
Then of course once you tell one person you wanna tell EVERYONE! Eventually I told everyone that I wanted to know, and not one person ever gave me grief for it. Oh sure, my mom, who was 73 at the time, had problems with it. But after my sister told her "This is how he is mom, deal with it or you might not ever see him anymore" she's come around, and she loves Brian to death!
Why am I telling this to you all? I dunno. Anniversaries and "dates" are a big deal to me. And I kinda think of today as my 2nd birthday. Yea, I'm a dork
I guess I really hope that if there are people reading this that might be in the same situation that I was in, that it's ok. It's never, EVER too late to come out and be yourself. And even if everyone around you ends up dissing you for it (which is highly unlikely that EVERYONE you know would in this day and age), that you have an outlet here. And if not here, then maybe someplace else. A bowling league, a gay oriented website, anywhere. There are people out there that accept you for YOU.
And to those early 20's people, and teenagers, that have accepted, dealt with, and come out, I salute you. Seriously, it makes me very excited to hear when young people accept who they are at such a young age.
Anyway, thanks for reading my diatribe. And, happy gay birthday to me!