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  1. #1

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    The Grand Title. (For my 8th grade Vincent Price poem thread.)

    Here is a poem that I wrote (incidentally, on 5/5/05) in 8th grade for my English class. The assignment was to write an extended metaphor poem in the style of Walt Whitman's poem "Oh Captain, My Captain!", which was about Abraham Lincoln. Mine was about Vincent Price, using the bat as the metaphor (you know, because he was in a horror movie called "The Bat"?). I added some subtle hints about his life in it. I just wanted to see what you guys thought about it.
    Oh, and BTW: I do not talk like that all the time. Most help with the words came from a thesaurus and rhymezone. So don't think I'm a genius, or I cheated or something. Okay?

    All right, here goes. (Please don't be TOO harsh.)

    The Title.(for my extended metaphor poem on Vincent Price.)

    The light dims, the moon looms over,
    the innocent Earth, the inculpable quiet,
    But danger arises out of the gloom.
    A winged beast with a carnivorous diet.

    Glistening, venomous fangs searching for blood
    wings of onyx, dark as death,
    rises from the ashes, thought to be gone
    fear overcomes you, stealing your breath.

    A thunderclap, a whistling wind,
    as you lay across your bed,
    dreams interrupted, sleep is haunted,
    a nighttime thriller, a curse on your head.

    The bat emerges from its ghastly home
    taking flight, stealing away,
    above your home, high from the peace
    in the ominous twilight, before the day.

    When the sun emerges, and light begins
    The bat's nightly mayhem is done
    He escapes to his home, a frightening recluse
    a menacing, twisted carnival of one.

    As he sleeps, you think you are safe,
    free of horror, as peaceful civilians,
    the bat will rise, his vocation reprised,
    to strike fear in the hearts of millions.

    [ evil laugh ]MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!![ / evil laugh ]


    so...questions? Comments? I need feedback!

  2. #2

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    Re: The Grand Title. (For my 8th grade Vincent Price poem thread.)

    I wrote a little poem myself:

    Darkness falls across the land
    The Midnight hour is close at hand
    Creature's crawling search of blood
    To Terrorize your neighborhood
    And Whosoever shall be found
    without the soul for getting down.
    Must Stand and Face the Hounds of Hell
    And Rot inside a corpses shell

    The foulest stench is in the air
    The funk of forty thousand years
    and grizley ghouls from every tomb
    are closing in to seal your doom
    and though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver
    for no meer mortal can resist the evil of the THRILLER!

    MWA HAHAHAHAAHA!
    What an idiot....

    Yeah, I do that Twitter thing.


  3. #3

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    Re: The Grand Title. (For my 8th grade Vincent Price poem thread.)

    "Vincent, I'm not like other guys."

  4. #4

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    Re: The Grand Title. (For my 8th grade Vincent Price poem thread.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Tui
    I wrote a little poem myself:

    Darkness falls across the land
    The Midnight hour is close at hand
    Creature's crawling search of blood
    To Terrorize your neighborhood
    And Whosoever shall be found
    without the soul for getting down.
    Must Stand and Face the Hounds of Hell
    And Rot inside a corpses shell

    The foulest stench is in the air
    The funk of forty thousand years
    and grizley ghouls from every tomb
    are closing in to seal your doom
    and though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver
    for no meer mortal can resist the evil of the THRILLER!

    MWA HAHAHAHAAHA!
    hmmm, that sounds awfully familiar... anyway, I laughed, I cried, I stole $5 from my mom's purse and bought a smoothie...

  5. #5

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    Re: The Grand Title. (For my 8th grade Vincent Price poem thread.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Ward
    "Vincent, I'm not like other guys."
    took me about 5 minutes to get that.... *snorty laugh*

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