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  1. #1

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    Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    I wanted to share this with all of you because I believe we, as adults, have a tendancy to give teens and pre-teens a hard time about their behavior.

    As a youth minister, I plan fun activities during each month for my Jr. high and high schoolers. This month we are going to a haunted house/maze and I have quite a few 6th graders who are excited to attend. One of the concerns is that the bigger kids will see them and "the young ones" and leave them behind.

    I mentioned this to one of my 7th graders and asked if he and his 2 friends would not mind being grouped with some of the 6th graders while going through the maze and he said "It's funny you should say that Katie, because I remember how hard it was being a 6th grader last yr when all the "older kids" were making fun of us and not being so nice." He said he and his 2 friends would not mind, and he would mention it to them.

    If you saw this kid, he has long hair, dresses "emo" and alot of people write him off because he's "different"...but he's the nicest kid and what maturity he showed me today!!!!! I was so proud of him I wanted to cry.

    So before you look at some obnoxious teens (and yes the above mentioned kid has had his monments with me over the last yr...trust me) just remember, deep down...there are some really good kids out there.
    Last edited by Disneykat; 10-05-2007 at 12:53 PM.
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  2. #2

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    I couldn't agree more with your post. I was an intelligent child/preteen/teen, and am now an intelligent adult. I had some friends who weren't so mature, and was automatically treated badly by some adults because of certain friends. I always had to prove myself, and so many adults would tell me " I totally misjudged you"... I think if you treat a pre-teen or teen like they are annoying or below you, you are expecting them to misbehave and are setting them up to do so. If you have faith in people, they are much more likely to show a positive side...
    <3 Chloe

  3. #3

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    You're right, Disneykat, and there's actually a scientific reason behind that. The prefrontal cortex(theoretically the seat of judgement) is the last part of the brain to develop, and is in the highest state of flux during the teen years. This explains why teens in general have moments of adult like reasonableness and maturity, and other moments of surpising obnoxiousness and stupid decision making. That accompanied with raging hormones and lack of experience make it very difficult to be around teens. But sometimes we forget how difficult some of those things make being a teen.

    I know I tend to get very annoyed by teens and preteens. Until I'm often reminded I wasn't one very long ago when I get asked at work " So are you on homestudies?" or " Enjoying your summer vacation?"

  4. #4

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    So true. When I was in high school one of the other students was in a thrash/speed metal band. The thing was that he was a straight A student, graduated in the top of the class, never touched cigarettes (which for a teen in the 80's was an accomplishment itself,) drugs or alcohol. If it wasn't for the fact that he had the 80's long rock style hair and dressed the part he would have probably been classified as the nerd/smart person. Anyway the class wanted his band to play for the senior dance and he agreed to for free and was willing to play milder music than what they put out. Everyone including the much of the facilty were a go until the administration learned about it and called it off stating that their music wasn't appropriate for a senior dance. They said that even if they played different music the students would still be exposed to this band and they were a bad influence.

    The funny thing was that he was very mature about how he handled the situation. He wrote a very impressive letter to the school board and went to the board meeting and presented his case. When he was told no, he respectfully thanked them for their time, left and that was the end of it. No tempertantrums, spite or revenge. I'll bet the school facilty that was against him was shocked.

    Quote Originally Posted by cerpin taxt View Post
    The prefrontal cortex(theoretically the seat of judgement) is the last part of the brain to develop, and is in the highest state of flux during the teen years.
    You've been waiting a long time to share that information haven't you?
    Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.

  5. #5

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    Well first of all I'm still in high school, a senior, but it's so true that kids get a bad reputation by what mistakes they make and their choices in youth years. It's disappointing how many adults think that because you look different, trashy, emo, or any other 'label' that all kids and teens are bad people. In my jr. high and feshman year of high school I wasn't your pretty or normal teen, well I'm still not but anyhow, it was amazing that people thought I was an F student the minute I met them. Hah, taught them...small difference between F & 4.0GPA, people should be more open minded.

  6. #6

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    I agree. There ARE a lot of good teens out there - it's just that it seems that a few 'bad apples' tend to spoil the bunch.....and so we, too, get derailed in our thoughts and perceptions of teens.....and it shouldn't be as such.

    I remember when I was a freshman at Anaheim High School - 1985/86 school year, there was a Sr. girl who has the WILDEST mohawk. It was multicolored and she had tons of earrings and wild makeup. On first sight, one might have seen her as some druggie punkrocker. I was captivated every time I saw her.......and in the back of my mind, was a bit 'afraid' of her.......but what I learned was that she was an HONOR student - just liked the wild look. And to me, she was all the more COOL because she did like that wild LOOK, but could separate it from wild BEHAVIOR.

    Anyway, thank you for reminding us of this, Disneykat.

  7. #7

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    [/QUOTE]You've been waiting a long time to share that information haven't you? [/quote]

    Hey, I'd have used that one in highschool all the time if I'd known it back then. " But mom, it's not my fault! My prefrontal cortex is in a state developmental chaos! That and hormones, I blame those too!"

  8. #8

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    Quote Originally Posted by cerpin taxt View Post
    "But mom, it's not my fault! My prefrontal cortex is in a state developmental chaos! That and hormones, I blame those too!"
    Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.

  9. #9

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    I'm always told how mature I am.

    Its annoying, I don't like being labeled as a 'goody two-shoes'.

    But meh, I know I can be just as stupid and obnoxious as my moron peers.

  10. #10

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    Quote Originally Posted by splashmountainfreak View Post
    I'm always told how mature I am.

    Its annoying, I don't like being labeled as a 'goody two-shoes'.

    But meh, I know I can be just as stupid and obnoxious as my moron peers.
    Be proud of your intelligence. You come across, in your posting here on MiceChat, as being a lot older than you are.

    Enjoy your youth.

    However, I have one rule I live by, particularly, and that is to treat others with respect. I think you do pretty well in that department.

    I was called goody two shoes a lot when I was a kid also. I remember one time, when I was at summercamp, we were up to no-good, and someone commented about how they were surprised that I wanted in on the scheme. It was just harmless, kids stuff, and I was tired of always being left out of the group. Funny thing is, everyone else thought better of it.

  11. #11

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    You've been waiting a long time to share that information haven't you? [/quote]

    Hey, I'd have used that one in highschool all the time if I'd known it back then. " But mom, it's not my fault! My prefrontal cortex is in a state developmental chaos! That and hormones, I blame those too!"[/quote]


    lol. some teenagers are more mature than others while the other teenager's brain is still in developing lol. Its all in their mind.

    You just got listen to the teenagers and pay attention to them.

  12. #12

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    Re: Teens and pre-teens, just get a bad rap sometimes

    Aw that kid is so sweet.

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