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  1. #1

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    1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    I got his from a friend! Enjoy!



    We're going back.

    Last weekend I put an exhaust fan in the ceiling for my wife's grandfather. After a bunch of hours spent in "The Hottest Attic In The Universe," he had a ceiling fan that ducted to the side of his house.

    While my brother-in-law and I were fitting the fan in between the joists, we found something under the insulation. What we found was this:







    A JC Penney catalog from 1977. It's not often blog fodder just falls in my lap, but holy hell this was two solid inches of it, right there for the taking. I thumbed through it quickly and found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by simply adding upholstery to old barrels:








    Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom, because obviously nothing absorbs errant pee like a nice, thick shag:







    There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.



    The clothes are fantastic.




    Here's how to get your *** kicked in elementary school:







    Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long, for god's sake. And way to pull your pants up to your armpits, grandpa.



    Here's how to get your *** kicked in high school:







    This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.



    Here's how to get your *** kicked on the golf course:







    This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden forced you to!


    Here's how to get your *** kicked pretty much anywhere:







    I'll bet these guys do ok with the ladies. If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't, although you can tell just by looking at them that it's happened - or if it hasn't happened it will. Oh yes. It will. As soon as he puts down his color-coordinated coffee cup.



    How to get your *** kicked in a meeting:







    If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit; which, frankly, is a step up.



    How to get your *** kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day







    Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.



    In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.







    As does your search for chest hair.



    And this -- Seriously. No words.








    Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What...... I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. I think the little tie must be the pull tab. If you look really closely, it says, "In case of chest hair emergency, pull tab quickly and back away."



    Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, in 1977 it was apparently considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?











    I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."







    And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. That, and an appreciative blonde with a look on her face ....






    Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:







    I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:







    Man, that's sexy.

  2. #2

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Okay, now THAT'S funny.

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  3. #3

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Too funny Stitch!!
    1st Amendment-Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

  4. #4

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Hilarious! I'll have to send this to my dad. He loved the 70's lol.
    <3 Chloe

  5. #5

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    That is great

  6. #6

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    OMG! I can't wait to share that with my 13 yo son! He is always going on about cool the 70's were! This will show him how wrong he is!

  7. #7

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    dad has this, he uses it to work in the garage..



    and those cloths in the 70's was the bomb!!! I remember them, I was cool, and if they saw the cloths of today they would have been laughing there butts off. the pants that hang below the butt, the muffin tops, the super tight tank tops showing lots of lumps and bumps. those are funny cloths now, but like I said. i nthe 70's we were fashion baby

  8. #8

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Oh wow... the memories... yes back in the 70's couples dressed alike. Hubby and I were married in 1977 and we had a matching set of t-shirts... of course.... back then we were the same size....

    Couldn't pull it off now....




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  9. #9

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Quote Originally Posted by StitchTT6 View Post




    WOW! That is so Mr. Furley!!!
    Three-time MVP Larry Bird, noting that Bryant has been the NBA's premier player for years, told Sports Illustrated's Dan Patrick before this week's announcement, "When someone told me the other day that Kobe hadn't won an MVP trophy, it sort of made me feel like I wanted to throw mine away."


  10. #10

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Funny stuff ... especially that faux Western wear that one guy was sporting.


  11. #11

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Absolutely love this thread! Thank you for giving me a great laugh this morning.

    Will trade husband for Disneyland and DCA Pins!

  12. #12

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    I was a girl in the 70s and I was so going for the Marcia Brady look. Doesn't that plaid jacket scream Ted Baxter?

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love the "How to get your *** kicked" series!

  14. #14

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    that was amazing. that's all there is too it.

  15. #15

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    Re: 1970's Jc Penneys Catalog....

    Great find!!!!


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