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  1. #1

    • Man O Lantern
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    Meet the Kerbells

    My sister got married last month in Jamaica to her guy of 4 years. He's incredible, generous, cute, 12 years older than her, interesting, and has this amazing circle of friends that I've been lucky enough to be folded into. I absolutely love him and I'm really really happy for her!

    But. No one was invited to the wedding. Which stung my mom and my dad was pretty devastated and her fiance's family (extremely tightknit) had a hard time with it. I was okay until they were gone and I was left with all this planning for their reception weekend, which ended this afternoon.

    The weekend went fine.

    Started off not-so-hot because we had plans for about a YEAR to go to mullet night at PGE Park, which is an annual tradition for us. If you sport a mullet wig (or even better, an actual mullet), you get $3 off the price of your ticket, so it's just a big PBR drunkfest, complete with truck nutz, wife beater tanks, denim cutoffs with pockets hanging out of the bottom, etc. Everyone goes WAY out on their costumes and it's a blast. So.....we had a babysitter lined up and my mom makes me cancel, says she's going to be in town early in the day and will babysit. Um. She finally showed up nearish 8 p.m. We'd planned to leave the house at 6 to meet up with all of our friends. My husband was PISSED. We both were. But my mom showed up with the Disneyland Shag 50th memory book and all 5 11X14 prints for me. SOoooo, though I was pissed, really pissed, I had to be nice to her.

    On Friday....my mom left my house about 15 minutes late to meet my sister.....which didn't start their day off well. They ended up running late all day. I managed to get to our ladies lunch early and scored us a patio table. We had ten meeting for lunch, all family members. It was great. Until my sister's husband's sister showed up visible PREGNANT. Surprise! Well, that's wonderful and ALL, but it's not really her weekend, is it?? She thought she'd surprise everyone and kind of stole my sister's thunder, which sucked. Lunch, otherwise, was delish. The view was gorgeous, right on the waterfront. The guys were off playing golf all day....they had a big tournament.

    That evening was a big picnic in the park, fully catered by our favorite pizza/salad place. Everything was amazing, the weather, the park, the food, the drinks, the company. We had about 50 people there, including some of my new brother-in-law's friends from grade school and college. Most traveled up from Cali, but some came from NYC! We had friends in from Minnesota, Florida, family in from S. Dakota and Arizona. It was really nice to see everyone. Afterward, my mom and step-dad took my kids and we went out for drinks with about 15 people.

    Saturday morning.....went to pick up Courtney from camp (she had a blast and is not a snotty little pod person....yet!), then headed to http://www.mcmenamins.com/index.php?loc=3&id=30 Edgefield, where the festivities were starting at 11 a.m.

    Kelly met up with the golfers who were teeing off right when we got there. They ended up with about 8 groups of 6 golfers each and various people hanging out drinking and watching. It's the kind of 18 hole course, where you need like 3 clubs and a hand free to hold your beer. Very kickback. My mom took my younger two to Multnomah Falls to escape the heat (it was really warm) and I wandered off with Courtney to chat and catch up and to watch the golfers/family/friends. We found a quiet patio and ordered a lunch for the two of us.

    At 1:30, we headed inside to freshen up and to decorate/get ready for the non-shower wine tasting bridal shower. My sister's new mother-in-law, who is really vocal and a major scene stealer was NOT happy with the lack of games. She voiced her opinion on that for two days straight. We get it. You're competitive and want to kick butt at shower games. Okay already. It went well, but that woman was so freaking obnoxious about it. Ugh. My poor sister though......got carded. At her own shower. She had to leave and go down to her car to get her ID. Took her about twenty minutes....the place is huge and she was not parked nearby, plus her husband had her car keys. That sucked. Worth a few laughs though later, after she had a major tantrum, but calmed down enough to laugh and talk about it.

    The memory book was a hit!!! We started it at the "shower" and got about 40 pages done there. It looks gorgeous and people wrote some really wonderful things! Even the guys got into it at the reception later that night. Very cool!!

    The present thing.....only about half the people brought her shower gifts, the rest of us had given her stuff at her bachelorette party. She opened them at the end of the party, much to her mother-in-law's relief. The woman was DYING for some cake, games, bows on the head, something. We gave her a gift-opening. Then she shut up.

    We all rested....hung out....explored the gardens, the winery, the distillery, Courtney napped. We decorated the reception room.....turned out gorgeous. My sister and her husband had arranged with the facility to have a projection screen set up with a DVD playing of their wedding vows. As a party favor, they gave away framed pics of themselves and DVDs of their beach wedding. I thought that was a good idea. They gave me and a few others professionally framed pics of their wedding. Very gorgeous.

    The reception would have been wonderful had it not been for my mom and my dad. Who are not married.

    For good reason.

    My mom hates my dad.

    For good reason. He's a jerk.

    So my mom and her husband always have to hang all over one another and profess their undying love to one another and PDA all over the place. It's vomitous, esp. since everyone hates my step-dad, because he's a pompous little windbag suck-up buttwipe.

    My wonderful step-mom.....puts up with my obnoxious over-bearing butthead of a dad, who must have had a secret mission of embarrassing my sister and everyone who knows him. He was awful.

    Then during the toasts, my mom and my step-dad decided at that moment to go for a romantic walk and told everyone in sight that that's where they were going. They missed all the toasts. Of which there were many.....guesstimating about 18 toasts altogether. My sister wanted to bawl. She was really disappointed.

    Then Courtney got sick. Really sick and we had to leave. So I couldn't even be of comfort to my sister, which sucked. Courtney looked like the world's youngest drunk, vomiting all over the bathroom. Not good. It was late anyway....should have left at 10 p.m. but the girls were having a blast dancing.....Cassidy started breakdancing and Chloe was doing donkey kicks. It was hilarious.

    This morning my mom and her husband slipped a note under my sister's door saying that they were heading home. She didn't stay for our 10 a.m. breakfast. She never even went back to the reception after the toasts. I'm so upset with my mom....she really let down my sister. The whole thing just sucks.

    We had about 30 people at breakfast today....minus my freaking mother, and it was nice to hang with everyone and say some slow goodbyes. Most of the out-of-towners were going to stay another night and sight see today. My dad was sober, so he was manageable.....as manageable as he can be, that is. For a career professional and clean cut man who is well-respected, he sure can be an idiot. I feel so sorry for my step-mom, who is amazing.

    All in all, it was great. The locations were perfect, the weather was almost too warm, the alcohol was GOOD and plentiful, the company incredible. The only drawbacks seemed to be our parents. Good God, I hope I don't cause my daughters any grief when they're older.

    Best of all, my sister and I bonded again....usually happens when we get around both my mom and my dad. We're arranging a girls-only sleepover in two weekends!! Almost all of our friends who were around this weekend will be there, so we're thrilled! It'll be like a post-wedding bachelorette party again?? Why not....if we can do a shower after they're married, eh? Her husband will be out of town, so we're taking over their house and partying!!

    Happy it's over!!! Back to life, back to reality.

  2. #2

    • is FIERCE!
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    <phew>

    That was exhausting to read- I can't imagine living through it. It sounds like an amazing weekend. I hope your sister had a good time, it sounds like you planned lots of thoughtful things for her.

    And parents suck sometimes. I completely understand how family drama and self centeredness can ruin a special event. You don't even want to hear my wedding planning stories, but my parents were divorcing after 25 years and we ended up eloping, if that tells you anything about the ordeal. Hopefully, she will be able to remember the good parts of the weekend and your parents antics won't take over in her mind.

    Where in Arizona and South Dakota are your family from?

  3. #3

    • Man O Lantern
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Tucson, and not sure.

    Ugh. Parents. They can be your biggest blessings or your vilest curse. Not sure when my parents turned into curses, but it's definitely been within the last few years. My parents have been divorced for 14 years, and got along like crazy afterward. Now that my mom's remarried though, the truce is somehow over and they have to behave like idiots around one another. It sucks.

  4. #4

    • That's Hawt
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    It's vomitous, esp. since everyone hates my step-dad, because he's a pompous little windbag suck-up buttwipe.
    Sounds like my step-dad! (I think they're all that way)

    Well, it sounds like it was an amazing weekend! I can't imagine actually doing all of that but jeez ... awesome! I'm glad you had a good time and it sounds like pretty much everything worked out ok!
    Quote Originally Posted by drunkmom
    this is my first buzzed post in the DMCA -- I'm really in this club because I'm a bitch more than anything. I've only had to hit the backspace 4 (oops, make that 5) times in (now 7) in this (now 9) (now 15) in this post! Damn, now I'm up to 18! Our neighbors were (19) (20) making tequilla sunrises. I thought I couldn't do tequilla (22) anymore but (24) this stuff (26) was good! It started (27) with an s



  5. #5

    • Iron-Clad Allie
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    That incredible vibe of yours naturally lightens up / brightens up any difficult situation.

    The wedding reception was far from perfect. But, as they say, it could have been far worse. If one or the other or both of your parents should have opted not to attend, this may have hurt your sister more than their in-fighting - and had a longer lasting impact. Plus your dad and stepmother having stayed for breakfast was a definate plus. In the end, there will likely be pictures/film a plenty that capture precious happy moments that will last a lifetime, The pics/video will give her reason to celebrate them in her mind once again at some point in the future.

    It's great that you, your family and friends had an exciting time, overall. As you are a very nice person, I'm happy about everything good that did happen - and you still have that awesome girls night to look forward to as well!
    Last edited by Ride Warrior; 07-31-2005 at 07:07 PM.

  6. #6

    • rainy day girl
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Stinkerbell, you rock out loud just for being able to survive the weekend. I can't even imagine the range of emotions you must be feeling as a result. Possibly relieved that it's all over?
    Looking for the truth about giraffes? http://www.menacinggiraffes.blogspot.com/

  7. #7

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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Wow Stink, that sounds like one roller coaster of a weekend. I'm glad you had us here at load and unload with you. Okay, that was a horrible pun, but anyhow. I admire your heart for putting so much work and thought into everything for her, even though you were stung by the exclusion from the wedding. She's a lucky sis!

  8. #8

    • Back home :-(
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    You are totally awesome for dealing with everything. Your sister needs to count her lucky stars that she has you for a sister!

    Yeah, parents can suck, I totally understand. Right now I'm the go-between between my sisters and parents. Some people just need drama in their lives

    Remember, you are fabulous for dealing with all that and pulling through! I hope Courtney feels better. As for the dancing from what I've heard about you at Uva Bar and others, the girls take after their mom!

  9. #9

    • Again! Again! Again!
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Stink, I'm sooooo happy that you survived. I was wondering about how it was all going this weekend for ya. I knew you were strong enough to get it done! Sorry you're parents were being wienies. Mine were like that for years! Like 15 years! I know it's tough to be in the middle. Fortunately you had your sister to vent with! My brother just shrugs it off like it's nothing. He's lame.


    But YAAAAY for you! Now, get back to enjoying life! Stress...done!
    Founding member of the B.A. I LOVE US!!
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    "If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them"
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    Girl bonding is just so necessary. It's just as important as "me" time. A good girl bonding session leaves you feeling so refreshed. I think of it as a NEED vs a want. There are just things that you need to talk to other women with. You may have the best relationship in the world with your husband, but there are just times you need your girlfriends. It makes for a healthier and happier you which makes everything else you do better.

  10. #10

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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    I thought I just replied to this, I'm very confused!

    Anyway, I'm glad you made it through the weekend okay. Sorry about all the drama but I wish your sister and her new husband a lifetime of happiness, despite the issues in how it all started. And I'm glad for you that you have survived it and can move on, sheesh! I hope your daughter is feeling better today and I'm glad she's not a pod person, LOL!!

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    Mark Twain





  11. #11

    • Man O Lantern
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Quote Originally Posted by MegarooFifi
    As for the dancing from what I've heard about you at Uva Bar and others, the girls take after their mom!
    I just burst out laughing!! Yes, I was doing donkey kicks and breakdancing at Uva!! I'm cracking up!

    You guys are the best!!! We're all exhausted around here. I took Chloe to swimming this morning and that was it. Courtney slept in pretty late, and it's 4:20 and she's still in her jammies. We're finally getting to the library in a few.

    I'm so relieved it's over. I'm going to my sister's on Wednesday to oooh and aaah over her presents and to share a bottle of fine wine. And to bitch about our parents. It's good to bond.

  12. #12

    • Waiting for the stork
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Stinkerbell, wow that's some weekend.
    It sounds like it mostly went pretty well (cracks me up that her mother-in-law was the one most concerned with the games.)
    Sorry about your parents being butt-heads though, but I guess weddings (or receptions) do that to a lot of people. But how cool that you and your sis made up, and got to bond again....that's wonderful.

    I can't imagine how you did all that but it sounds like you pulled it off beautifly.

    and I am glad Courtney came home safe and sound, and not a pod person (he,he,he)
    I bet she has some wonderful stories that she has been sharing with you, and guess what? You made it the whole week, You did it!! and your baby is back safe in your arms.... (a hug from one mommy to another)
    procrastibating

  13. #13

    • loves a silver lining
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    I'm glad that you survived! Aren't families fun :rollyeyes: remind me & cyneeyore to share some stories with you to make you feel less alone in your "my family is insaneness" Trust me.

    All in All even with the assy MIL and your mom's spurt of meaness towards your sister it sounds like it ended up good, with the renewed bond between you and your sister. That is always a good feeling.

    I hope Courtney's feeling better!



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  14. #14

    • Pucker Up, Sweetie!
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Why do divorced parents always choose monumental moments in your life to make you miserable? Happens to my sister and me all the time...totally sucks!

    But glad you survived!!!

  15. #15

    • insufferable know-it-all
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    Re: Meet the Kerbells

    Stink, well, I think you have the reason your sister eloped!

    Regarding her husband's mother: would I be correct in guessing she had no daughters of her own and that this was her one chance at bridal showers?

    Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...



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