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  1. #31

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    The problem I have with "thats so gay" or what have you is that it implies that an object (usually inatimate) has a sexuality. Ok so sometimes I may "Blah blah blah is so gay, and yes because something or another can have a sexuality." Just as a lame joke but my bad.

  2. #32

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Quote Originally Posted by Maverick View Post
    The problem is us teens won't fully understand how it makes people feel until we get older.
    Putting my personal hat on for this one:

    Also, it may be the fact that they don't know someone inside their group that is actually gay. When it hits close to home, kids will stop. The problem is that when it leaks out, they can inadvertently insult someone without knowing it. As I posed in the club, I used this as a topic for a psychology paper, about humor, where I equated it to the superiority theory. However, I took it as a literal straight/gay idea.

    That many straights use "gay" in a way that supports the fact that they believe they are superior to gays (in numbers, possible mate choices, etc.), so "being gay" puts one at a social/sexual disadvantage - and is therefore humorous. Also, I touched on the idea that it's humor of the unknown, as many college students I interviewed found the term degrading when they had gay friends of their own, however, others thought nothing of using the term.
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  3. #33

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Wow. I had no idea that this phrase was so rampant among adults! I'm a teacher, and I've heard it a lot from kids on the playground. When I did hear it I was all over them about it. The younger kids don't really have any idea what it means, but know it is meant as an insult. I usually asked the older kids what it meant. They usually shrugged their shoulders.

    It is as hideous a saying, like others have compared, as using "retard" for challenged people. But I can honestly say that I have never heard "That's so gay" from any adult I've been around. Teens, yes. But they are still in the ignorant, follow the masses, stage.

  4. #34

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    I prefer "That's F'ed up". No one admits to being F'ed up and if they are, they'll laugh it off.

  5. #35

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Quote Originally Posted by DarthDucky View Post
    The problem I have with "thats so gay" or what have you is that it implies that an object (usually inatimate) has a sexuality.
    However, the way I've always looked at it, is that they are filling gay with another word, like "bad". I ended up seeing a movie with a couple of friends, and I said "Wow, that movie was bad." Then, someone in our group (friend of a friend) said "Yea, that movie was totally gay." However, I immediately called him out on the fact that he just associated that "gay" = "bad".

    The problem is that the implied meaning is NOT the definition (a movie like Brokeback Mountain - is gay for example), is the words that young people associate with gay (bad, stupid, etc.).
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  6. #36

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    But whay about somethomg like "The children were gayly playing in the yard".
    As I said, words have different meanings and are interpreted differently by different people.



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  7. #37

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Quote Originally Posted by Monorail Man View Post
    Putting my personal hat on for this one:

    Also, it may be the fact that they don't know someone inside their group that is actually gay. When it hits close to home, kids will stop. The problem is that when it leaks out, they can inadvertently insult someone without knowing it. As I posed in the club, I used this as a topic for a psychology paper, about humor, where I equated it to the superiority theory. However, I took it as a literal straight/gay idea.

    That many straights use "gay" in a way that supports the fact that they believe they are superior to gays (in numbers, possible mate choices, etc.), so "being gay" puts one at a social/sexual disadvantage - and is therefore humorous. Also, I touched on the idea that it's humor of the unknown, as many college students I interviewed found the term degrading when they had gay friends of their own, however, others thought nothing of using the term.
    This reminds me of an old Peanuts cartoon from the '60s. Charlie Brown and Shermie are looking at something in a newspaper and laughing hysterically. Violet looks over their shoulders and says, "That's not funny. Why are you laughing so hard?"

    Charlie Brown replies, "Because we don't understand it."

  8. #38

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Not sure what all the fuss is about. The phrase is NOTHING like the 'n' word.
    Why can't it be looked at from another angle? One of endearment. "that's so gay" ....I don't know about you all, but most of the gay people I know have IMPECCABLE taste and style...and so, when I hear "that's so gay", what I hear is "that is so totally unbelievably over the top cool it must've originated from someone in the gay community".

    just sayin'.


    And as for the word "retarded"...well, that was an adjective associated w/ everyday language waaaaay before it was nominated a label to be placed onto the mentally disabled.

    With all the diversity and mingling of cultures and languages, I would hope sensitivities would ebb and flow accordingly.

    That being said, it is never my intention to offend anyone with words that spew from either my mouth or keyboard.
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  9. #39

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Quote Originally Posted by All4dISNEY View Post
    Not sure what all the fuss is about. The phrase is NOTHING like the 'n' word.
    Perhaps not from your perspective. However, for someone that IS gay, the phrase may be very offensive. I don't have the perspective of a gay person, but if some people - many people - find it offensive to have a word that is used to describe them, and then be used as a derogatory remark, then it should not be used.

    Like Polish jokes of the past. They were most likely meant "all in good fun", but they could be hurtful to Polish people.

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    When I hear people say "That's so gay!" or "that's so retarded," three things come to mind for me.....


    One, the person using it hasn't been told it could be offensive to many or has been told but doesn't care that it's offensive.

    Two, the person is being too lazy to think of a better phrase to express his/her feelings ...the phrase has always worked for him in his life or circle of friends so why bother changing.

    Three, the person has a limited vocabulary and needs to find some better words to express himself...or our culture needs to come up with some better phrases for people to quickly express when they they think something is dumb/stupid/lame.



    Off topic a little, but did you guys know that saying "Oh my God" is very offensive to a lot of people ? They consider it swearing or taking the Lord's name in vain. I know this because my youth group leader when I was growing up used to get mad if I said it so I had to make myself stop. Another word some old fashioned people don't like is "butt" in place of "bottom." I think the best thing to do if someone is using a word or phrase while speaking with you is to just ask them politely to use another expression or word if it bothers you that much and hopefully the person will comply.
    Last edited by Princess Buttercup; 02-28-2008 at 03:18 PM.

  11. #41

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Quote Originally Posted by WDW Monorail View Post
    But whay about somethomg like "The children were gayly playing in the yard".
    As I said, words have different meanings and are interpreted differently by different people.
    Other than the fact that it may not have been uttered since 1893, nothing. So, feel free to use that phrase any time you find an appropriate situation.

    While I'll agree with you that words can be interpreted differently by different people, nobody here interprets the phrase, "That's so gay" to mean anything but dumb, stupid, or other derogatory words.

    Quote Originally Posted by All4dISNEY View Post
    Not sure what all the fuss is about. The phrase is NOTHING like the 'n' word.
    Why can't it be looked at from another angle? One of endearment. "that's so gay" ....I don't know about you all, but most of the gay people I know have IMPECCABLE taste and style...and so, when I hear "that's so gay", what I hear is "that is so totally unbelievably over the top cool it must've originated from someone in the gay community".

    That being said, it is never my intention to offend anyone with words that spew from either my mouth or keyboard.
    I'll accept that you don't mean to offend anybody. I really do believe you are sincere. But, the term, as used, and as virtually everybody here understands it to mean, is not flattering. And it is offensive and hurtful to hear. You offer up a whole new, "happy" definition, but I'm afraid society has already decided this one for us.

    I'm also at a loss how one could compare a degree of wrongness of hateful words. It is bad to disrespect anybody. Should we just "buck up" and be thankful that this phrase is kinder than some other inappropriate ones?
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  12. #42

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    I'm so glad that it seems 99% of you get it. I just hope the 1% out there that doesn't seem to get it, will think twice next time.

    Here's something to do if you don't, come to a noon meet at D-land sometime (where there's usually an abundance of gay people and the people that love them) and talk to some people, then say in the context of a discussion about for example, monkeys wearing clothes, "That's so gay" and see where it gets you. My guess, leers.

    And to those saying the "n" word is worse, or saying retarded is bad, I agree. But we're talking about "That's so gay" here so let's stick with the topic at hand mmmmkay?

  13. #43

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Buttercup View Post

    Three, the person has a limited vocabulary and needs to find some better words to express himself...or our culture needs to come up with some better phrases for people to quickly express when they they think something is dumb/stupid/lame.



    This thread is sooo Gay
    , j/k Onut The devil made me say it. Or you can interpret my quote as being happy or adj. gay


    I agree with PB. I just think people quickly say it when they really mean something that is dumb/stupid/lame. That's how I interpret anyway.

    Very well said PB.

  14. #44

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    may i say "thats so *****"? as a kid i always associated that word with another meaning for the word gay. it wasn't until i read a book about mcikey going to to the grand canyon that i learned it had another meaning. anyway to sum up what i'm trying to say. weird=*****=gay=weird. thats so gay= thats so weird

  15. #45

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    Re: "That's so gay" - please just stop saying that!

    I have a very dear friend whose sister has Down's Syndrome. I used to use the phrase "that's retarded" until I began spending time with Joanna, who is truly one of the sweetest young women I know. Even though my previous usage was not meant in offense, I understand that thoughtless words have repercussions and I would be heartbroken to know that I had hurt her with my thoughtlessness.

    This is why I now use the phrase, "That's beat." I recommend you all do the same. If you do, I can take credit for spreading said phrase beyond my group of friends from college. See? Everyone wins.

    I think the issue is less about words and more about our consideration of our fellow human beings. Every person, no matter their sexual orientation, skin color, religion, political party or soft drink preference deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Our world would be a far better place if each person put others before themselves. What's that phrase? "Love one another?"
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