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  1. #1

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    Keeping up with the Jonesí

    So, my Chicago friend made an interesting observation about her neighbor. She realized the neighbor is not someone she wants to keep up with.
    You would die if you knew what I have been going through with my Super white trash neighbor. OMG....she is uber trash First, she only ever wears her hair in a dirty scrunchie, in a floppy, not pulled through all the way pony tail, then, she wears purple eye shadow on one eye, and green eye shadow on the other. She is only 26, and yet so trashy, PLUS she is obsessed with birthstone rings.....she wears 10 rings on 8 of her fingers

    She drives an hour away from our house so that she doesn't have to pay sales tax on the baby food she buys.

    Her house is so filthy that her baby's hands are black from crawling around. So my yucky neighbor's house is filthy, she even had a tattoo party in her house! Except her kitchen floor was so dirty that the tattoo guy wouldn't do tattoos until she mopped it. Shockingly, she didn't even own a mop, and had to come borrow mine

    PLUS I woke up at 11:00PM one night and went to the kitchen for a bottle of water, and I found them sitting on my deck smoking, and using my fire pit I was furious! I went marching out there in my pajamas and gave her an earful I was sooooo mad. All she said was, "I was going to ask, but you were asleep"

    I came home from work one day, and found her in my kitchen.....stealing my MILK. She let herself into my house (sliding glass door was left open). She stole my friggin' milk!

    She's always complaining about having no money, yet she ALWAYS has money for cigarettes, PLUS, she has terrible grammar. She said things like "she don't want to do that no more". She's renting I wish they would get evicted. Worst part is that they are "renting to own"

    She still wears "tummy shirts". The ones where it looks like a tank top that was cut straight up the middle from the bottom, to just below your bra. It's ridiculous; she has a never-ending supply of them. It looks awesome with her 10 rings on 8 fingers

    She invited me to a tongue piercing party.....And believe me.....the last thing I wanted to do was sit around her filthy house with my mouth hanging open!


    So, what are your neighbor horror stories?
    ...it's been a long time.

  2. #2

    • Jacob <3 Cotton Candy
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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    Yikes!!!

    My neighbors decided to do some construction/remodeling on thier house...long story short.. they decided to extend their kitchen and they decided to face their kitchen window facing my kitchen window...Talk about wanting to see what your neighbors are doing...I subsequently put up shrubs/bushes and some blinds because the neighbors had no shame in looking through our kitchen window to see what we were doing!!!
    Delta Mu Chi Alpha ΔΜΧΑ


  3. #3

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    That's pretty disgusting!

    My neighbors had 4 kids in 5 years. The second was diagnosed as austistic. I could see it, but they were totally suprised, and they are both teachers. Dad was beating the mom. Dad was using drugs. I thought it was odd that he is good buddies with the teenage neighbor kids- I'm sure one party was selling to the other. He would be gone all night. She never slept. He choked her while she was pregnant. He spent a summer in jail. She finally left. I went to court for her. Her family paid up the yin yang for a lawyer. Less than a year later, she came back, because it was "too hard", but inthe meantime, we still had to live next door to him. He thinks that we called the police, but we never did. Some other alert neighbor took care of that, but he's convinced it was us and doesn't talk to us, which is fine by me. Sometimes the autistic kid climbs the fence into our backyard. Also, he doesn't wear clothes and he runs away, so I hear them yelling for him all the time.

    The crappiest part is that their oldest son is only 6 months older than mine, and they were best buddies before this went down. So then I had to explain that the mom and the kids had to suddenly move away somewhere else, and now that they are back, he's not allowed to go to their house. We just told him there are too many kids over there. (He never was allowed to anyway, too chaotic over there.) Now the unspoken rule between me and my husband is that this kid can come to our house anytime, so that he can have a non-chaotic place to come hang out.
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  4. #4

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    Wow... suddenly my neighbors don't seem QUITE so bad anymore!
    Good morning, son
    In twenty years from now
    Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
    And I can tell you 'bout today
    And how I picked you up and everything changed
    It was pain
    Sunny days and rain
    I knew you'd feel the same things...





  5. #5

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    HM, give your friend 2 words from me...Child Services! Then tell her to call the landlord of the other place. Hopefully he won't be that desparate to sell to them. Since she doens't have money to buy milk, how is she going to afford a house!!

    I'm happy I don't have any freaky neighbor stories. I have fun neighbors. But when I was a kid there was a family that lived next door that made the Conner family on Roseanne look normal. They were all right, but VERY dysfunctional!
    Founding member of the B.A. I LOVE US!!
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  6. #6

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    Wow... just wow. Especially on the milk thing - what else has she stolen from the house, one must wonder?

    Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...



  7. #7

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    My neighbours are ANGELS compared to that! The worsset thing that has happened in a looooooong time is that the neighbour in back was using a power tool at midnight.

  8. #8

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    When we first got married, we rented a duplex in this okay neighborhood, across from the Willamette River. I had this gorgeous view of an impressive bridge, and in the fall, it would be foggy, the leaves would be firey orange, and you'd see the bridge rising out the mist.....I'd sit out on our patio, sipping a cup of decaf coffee, reading the newspaper, massaging my stomach, dreaming wonderful dreams of the miracle baby growing inside of me........and listen to my rad single mom neighbor cussing out her three year old and her four year old daughters for eating all the Doritos and pudding cups for breakfast. At noon.

    She was this bitchin cool single mom with feathered hair, lots of black denim cut-offs, tank top short shirts, and a sometimes boyfriend who resembled Kip Winger. She had two cars, one car battery. Not kidding. She actually used to take the battery out in the morning.....decisions, decisions. To drive the Trans Am or the Pinto wagon to go pick up her welfare checks. Pinto or Trans Am, Trans Am or Pinto. The Trans Am had no back seat, just speakers. Her kids would SIT on the speakers.

    One time the kids went to a "fancy" Christmas party with her. I was outside doing something and the three of them described it to me. Apparently, there were streamers all over the "f-ing place, damnedest thing, they musta spent twenty f'ing dollars on all them streamers." And they had not one, but FOUR different jello mold salads. FOUR. And a "big ole f'ing glass bowl of punch." Their favorite thing though was the tuna casserole. She couldn't be sure, but there were either corn flakes or potato chips on top. Mmmm, klassy.

    So what made her a crappy neighbor??

    She yelled at the kids constantly, fed them nothing but sugar and pop (then wondered why all their teeth were black), planted twenty flipping pinwheels in front of her house and they all squeaked when the wind blew, she had loud late night gentlemen callers who looooooooved AC/DC, and to cap it all off she got a gigantic dog and DITCHED it with no food or water for ten days, until the police finally came and made the landlords let them in to rescue it. I saw the place....the dog had eaten the furniture, crapped and peed everywhere, clawed every piece of wood in the place. She'd shut the bathroom door, so he couldn't even drink from the toilet. It was awful. I had to listen to him cry for days before the landlord or the police would DO anything. She left all their furniture, the kids' toys, blankies, everything.

    The landlords reported her to the Housing dept., who paid for her to live there, and it turns out......she had ANOTHER house in the next town over, also completely paid for. Ballsiest broad ever.

    The next woman who moved in there whacked her 3 year old in front of me for not saying thank you when I handed out candy on Halloween.

    We bought a house and MOVED shortly thereafter.

  9. #9

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    All I can think about with my neighbors is the guy who lives on the next street, our houses back up to each other. He's been over here twice to complain about our dogs barking all night long. Only thing is, all night long one of our dogs is in bed with the 2 year old and the other dog is under our bed. They don't have a doggy door, don't go out at night and only bark when they see squirrels or birds close to the ground which is usually in the morning when they are all waking up, too.

    And he argues with us that our dogs are the ones outside because "it's those black ones." Never mind that there are also two HUGE black dogs next door who never, ever, ever leave the backyard and bark every time someone goes out into their yard. And the next yard also has two black yippy dogs. His yard backs up to ours and the neighbors, though not the third one.

    And that, isn't bad at ALL until he starts calling the cops on our dogs that aren't really outside barking. So I can't even really complain. There are some crazy people around!!

    "Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth."
    ó Mark Twain





  10. #10

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    Thankfully most of our neighbors now are fairly normal. Except for a person I use to work with whom I despise, who made my life a living hell at work, who caused me to leave a school and job that I'd been at for 16 years and loved... lives on the street above me and I could see her back yard from my front yard. But they are building a big 4 bedroom house on the vacant lot between us now so its not so bad.

    Some years ago when my daughter was much younger (like maybe second/third grade) she was around the corner playing at one of her friends. She had known this girl since kindergarden, and I knew the family had some issues. But I try to be open minded and not to judgemental. We're kinda disfunctional in our own way to.

    Well that afternoon my daughter and anohter of her friends (who lived next door to the first little girl) came to our house and told us that whoever was there had told them they all had to leave.... next thing I know the mom who lived next door to the first girl called me and told me that the place was surrounded by cops!!!! With their guns drawn!!!!! They kicked down the door and went in and raided the place. Unbeknownst to us.. the mom was in jail, it was a boyfriend (of the week) who was in the house and somehow he got tipped off about the raid. Thank god he was smart enough to send my daughter and her other friend home!!! To this day it scares the daylight out of me how close my daughter was to that situation. From that point on she was not allowed to have any contact with the little girl... I told her as far as we were concerned that was a vacant lot... after that the woman would sit out in front of her house with a rifle across her lap... Thankfully soon after she moved. But that was not only annoying but frighening!!




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  11. #11

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    Re: Keeping up with the Jonesí

    Are neighbors are more stupid than anything.
    For instance, when you're standing in the driveway chatting and a car comes down the driveway toward you... you stare at the car and keep on talking, right? Becausee they do. It always takes awhile for them to register that they're abbout to get run over. Their daughter who is like 5 is the smartest one of the bunch - she actually gets her younger brothers out of the way when cars come by (what a concept!)

    They also have laundry issues, as in they'll keep their laundry in the washer or dryer for days. (The current record is three days!). And of course it seems like when you try to wash something, there they are trying to stealing the washer away from you.

    Not to mention they leave trash and food outside their apartment and in the car port. They really junk up the place, which I might dislike most of all.

    They've also lied straight to my face about something my roommate supposedly told them (like I wasn't going to ask her what the truth was?) and we had issues about them parking over the line, making it impossible for me to get out of my car (which they did last night - because they have a carpet that's taking up part of the four parking spots they've stolen)

    Not to mention they work on cars for a living - IN OUR DRIVEWAY! Yes, often the driveway/parking area is littered with spare parts, windshields, paint stuff... or cars blocking our parking spaces. And of course they just leave that stuff there... I'm not sure that they understand the concept of picking up after yourself and throwing things away. They just think they own the building and can do what they want - park in the driveway, wash their cars in the driveway and not move when you need to get through...

    Not to mention the yelling and door slamming at 1 a.m. Always a great way to wake up.

    I feel a little bad for them sometimes - they have 7 people in a 2 bedroom (and another 4 who are always over), but that doesn't excuse the rudeness and not thinking of anyone but yourself.
    It'll be good to get away from them.
    Good morning, son
    In twenty years from now
    Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
    And I can tell you 'bout today
    And how I picked you up and everything changed
    It was pain
    Sunny days and rain
    I knew you'd feel the same things...





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