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Thread: my story

  1. #1

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    my story

    this is going to my other sister as a grad present for going on to collage and its about how she gave me courage and taught me never to give up so I want you people here to rate it and give me suggustions.I know that there are gramtical errors,I just wanted to write it before I went to bed and forgot about it so I was typing like crazy.I am hoping to get a blank book that you can write in and put it in.Please type now and try to give me suggustions before I go to bed.I hope that you like it.

    Never Give up

    A story by Jamie <last name removed>
    Dedicated to Stolle <last name removed>
    Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am witty, I like to help others and love to read comic books and mysterys.When I am older I want to go on to the Olympics and play soccer.This story starts in the charming town of Franklin mass. Jamie the main character is yelling at her mom because her mom wants her to go to the track.

    Jamie you need to work out and go to the track.
    Mom do I have to whined Jamie
    Yes,your getting chubbier by the minute.
    Ok I said as I sadly trudged into the car.
    I did not run around the track but I decided to walk and then do suicides across the whole field.
    Later as always my mom asked me how many laps I ran. I paused for a moment and then said 13.
    This went on for a series of days until one day I was walking and my sister appeared at the track with her field hockey stuff. She kept shooting in the goals until she came over to me.

    Jamie
    Um,yes

    You say you run allot but then I have been watching you and you have not ran one lap yet.
    So whats your point I said
    Jamie,I want you to run with me.
    Then she grabbed me and pulled me to the starting line of the track.
    No!! I said and try to break her grip and run away.
    But she was to strong.
    Come on Jamie she said just this lap.
    NO!! I would rather run suicides which I have been doing all along.
    Is it really that hard to run one lap she said?
    Then we both ran off and she was dragging me behind while her hand had a firm grip on my hand and she would not let go.
    I cant take it anymore I said in the middle of the lap.
    We are almost there Stolle said,you can do it.
    Once we finished the lap my sister says “Jamie that wasent so hard was it.”
    No I guess not I say.
    After that incident I went on as normal walking and doing bits and pieces of running like running and stopping in the middle. I also ran very fast and did many suicides until this one night.I was very excited,my mom was dropping me off at the track and I wanted to get started right away.
    Jamie,I am going down to get some gas I will be back in 20 minutes ok?
    Ok I said as I walked down the concrete slope to the track.
    I drank a little bit of water and tuned into “Gloria” by Laura branigan on my moms I-pod.
    When I got to the start line on the track, I do not no what possessed me to do it, I started running right away. At points when I was really tired I wanted to stop but I pushed my self to go on. Sooner than normal I finished a lap.
    Wow that was easer than I thought I said to my self as I finished my lap.
    I stretched and then drank some water, turned back to “Gloria and did another lap without stopping. Once again I stopped drank some water and was off again with “Gloria” still playing. After that I did one more lap before my mom came to join me. Then I drank allot and put my hands up in the air and started walking to regain my breath. Then I saw my mom walking towards me.
    Hi mom.
    Hi
    How many laps did you do said mom.
    Three without stopping during my laps.
    Really? Were you running or walking? Asked my mother
    Running.
    Cool, Lets see if you can do one more.
    Ok I said as I started to walk from my water bottle to the starting point.
    When I got to the number five line I started out running really slowly and then I got faster little by little. There was one time were I was so tired I wanted to stop and walk for a while but the quote “never give up” stuck in my head. When I finished my lap my mom screamed,Go Jamie and I put my hands up in the air as one would do when they finish a race.
    I went and sat down by the side of the track and drank some water and I waited until my breathing was normal again. After about 2 minutes I walked back to the starting point, took a deep breath and was slow and steady. I may have been slow on my last lap but I ran till I thought my lungs would burst and finally finished my last lap.
    I was crying through 4 of my laps. I am not entirely sure why but I think it was because of my sister, who gave me the courage to do those 5 laps and taught me never to give up and the song “Gloria which motivated me to run.
    Last edited by Morrigoon; 07-14-2006 at 04:09 PM.

  2. #2

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    Re: my story

    What are suicides?
    Good morning, son
    In twenty years from now
    Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
    And I can tell you 'bout today
    And how I picked you up and everything changed
    It was pain
    Sunny days and rain
    I knew you'd feel the same things...





  3. #3

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    Re: my story

    I don't know what suicides are either, but I'm sure she'll love it!
    You seem to be interested in the screenplay style of writing. A nice start!

  4. #4

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    Re: my story

    Its when you run back and forth on the field.

  5. #5

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    Re: my story

    Thanks Tinkerbell.

  6. #6

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    Re: my story

    I normally have to run them in soccer,and I dont like to do them but its better than running around the track

  7. #7

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    Re: my story

    Here is my edited version,Just fixed grammatical errors.
    Never Give up

    A story by Jamie <last name removed>
    Dedicated to Stolle <last name removed>

    Let me tell you a bit about myself. I am witty, like to help others and love to read comic books and mysterys.When I am older I want to go on to the Olympics and play soccer. This story starts in the charming town of Franklin mass. Jamie the main character is yelling at her mom because her mom wants her to go to the track.

    Jamie you need to work out and go to the track.
    Mom do I have to whined Jamie
    Yes,your getting chubbier by the minute.
    Ok I said as I sadly trudged into the car.
    I did not run around the track but I decided to walk and then do suicides across the whole field.
    Later as always my mom asked me how many laps I ran. I paused for a moment and then said 13.
    This went on for a series of days until one day I was walking and my sister appeared at the track with her field hockey stuff. She kept shooting in the goals until she came over to me.

    Jamie
    Um,yes

    You say you run allot but then I have been watching you and you have not run one lap yet.
    So whats your point I said.
    Jamie,I want you to run with me.
    Then she grabbed me and pulled me to the starting line of the track.
    No!! I said and tried to break her grip and run away.
    But she was to strong.
    Come on Jamie she said just this one lap.
    NO!! I would rather run suicides which I have been doing all along.
    Is it really that hard to run one lap she said?
    Then we both ran off while she was dragging me behind while her hand had a firm grip on my hand and she would not let go.
    I cant take it anymore I said in the middle of the lap.
    We are almost there Stolle said,you can do it.
    Once we finished the lap my sister says “Jamie that wasent so hard was it.”
    No I guess not I say.
    After that incident I went on as normal walking and doing bits and pieces of running like running and stopping in the middle. I also ran very fast and did many suicides until this one night. I was very excited, my mom was dropping me off at the track and I wanted to get started right away.
    Jamie,I am going down to get some gas I will be back in 20 minutes ok?
    Ok I said as I walked down the concrete slope to the track.
    I drank a little bit of water and tuned into “Gloria” by Laura branigan on my moms I-pod.
    When I got to the starting line on the track, I do not know what possessed me to do it, but I started running right away. At points when I was really tired I wanted to stop but I pushed my self to go on. Sooner than normal I finished a lap.
    Wow that was easer than I thought I said to my self as I finished my lap.
    I stretched and then drank some water, turned back to “Gloria and did another lap without stopping. Once again I stopped drank some more water and was off again with “Gloria” still playing. After that I did one more lap before my mom came to join me. Then I drank allot and put my hands up in the air and started walking to regain my breath. Then I saw my mom walking towards me.
    Hi mom.
    Hi
    How many laps did you do said mom.
    Three without stopping during my laps.
    Really? Were you running or walking? Asked my mother
    Running.
    Cool, Lets see if you can do one more.
    Ok I said as I started to walk from my water bottle to the starting point.
    When I got to the number five line I started out running really slowly and then I got faster little by little. There was one time were I was so tired I wanted to stop and walk for a while but the quote “never give up” stuck in my head. When I finished my lap my mom screamed, Go Jamie and I put my hands up in the air as one would do when they finish a race.
    I went and sat down by the side of the track and drank some water and I waited until my breathing was normal again. After about 2 minutes I walked back to the starting point, took a deep breath and started running slowly and steadily. Iwas really slow on my last lap but I ran till I thought my lungs would burst and finally finished my last lap.
    I was crying through 4 of my laps. I am not entirely sure why but I think it was because of my sister, who gave me the courage to do those 5 laps and taught me never to give up and because of the song “Gloria" which motivated me to run.
    Last edited by Morrigoon; 07-14-2006 at 04:10 PM.

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