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  1. #1

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    Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    Just finished reading Stephen King's Cell, which was good classic King, and wanted to see if a movie was in the works...

    Well, there kind of is, and it's probably going to be directed by Eli Roth, which makes me want to cry.

    Now don't get me wrong, Roth is a good director if all you want from a movie is blood and boobs (at the expense of good characters or story).. Okay, I hate him. I've seen Cabin Fever, Hostel and Hostel 2 and couldn't stand any of them. They weren't scary, they weren't... anything. Boobs and Blood is all he is.

    If there was a movie called Boobs and Blood, Eli Roth would be the director.

    The thing is: Cell is a good story. It follows a young father trying to understand life after a mysterious cell phone "pulse" turns the phone speaking public into telepathic zombies.... okay, but it still has a great story, strong human elements, emotion, and drama.... blood, yes, it has blood, but... It's too deep for a Eli Roth film.

    Q: What Did Eli Roth say after watching Star Wars?
    A: It would have been better if it was all about boobs and blood.
    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert





  2. #2

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    aww, i feel the exact opposite of you

    i'm really looking forward to Eli Roth's take on Cell, which i felt was a return to the goriness of Stephen King that i love so much. So few filmmakers have been able to translate King's "ick" factor to the screen, and i'm really looking forward to seeing what Roth does.

    I really really really liked Cabin Fever, the off beat humour and fantasticly done gore was great for me (wow, i must sound like a psychopath myself for saying it, but i'm sure you all know what i mean). Hotstel had some great moments, but was a bit too heavy on the boobs and i haven't seen Hostel2 yet, so i have no comment on that.

    That's the joy of movies and entertainment in general, there's all kinds of styles for all styles of taste (or lack thereof)
    Will there be screams when the sun sets,
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  3. #3

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    If the first 30 minutes of Hostel was not in the movie, it would have been fantastic. I loved the last hour, just didn't like the sex and drugs that did not need to be in the film and served no purpose. If he can make Cell like the last hour of Hostel, I look forward to it. If however, he puts in the boobs and drugs that add nothing to the story like the first 30 minutes of Hostel, I will be very disappointed.

  4. #4

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    I've had that book since it came out and I still haven't read it! I'm so pathetic.

  5. #5

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    ^^ It's an SK book that I really enjoyed (unlike Lisey's Story, which I just CANNOT get into for the life of me). I don't remember any boobs in it, but I'm sure Eli will figure out a way to get that into the picture.

    I'm not a fan of the Splat Pack at all but I'll prolly see this movie anyway since I'm an SK fan. Cabin Fever was okay, but Hostel is pure boring torture porn.
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  6. #6

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    My issue is 99% of SK's books have not translated well onto the big screen. I think the only exception is The Green Mile.

  7. #7

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    Eli Roth..His movies are lame and I will expect this movie to be just as lame. Why Can't Rob Zombie, Eli Roth, and Uwe Boll jump off a cliff already? Or at least stop making bad movies!

    Now, I'll turn that little mouse's dream into a nightmare Fantasmic!

  8. #8

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    Quote Originally Posted by aimster View Post
    My issue is 99% of SK's books have not translated well onto the big screen. I think the only exception is The Green Mile.
    A few more in my list...Shawshank Redemption, Carrie, Stand by Me and Misery.

  9. #9

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    Re: Eli Roth to direct Stephen King's Cell? NO!!

    it is possible for a good Stephen King movie, the director and screenwriter just need to know what they are doing.

    King is Horror, yes, but it's always, from Christine to today, been about the characters. Eli Roth just can't make a good character.
    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert





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