A friend of mine works in the energy industry, and he overheard a conversation between top tier directors about their new deal to upgrade the Universe of Energy!
I don't think I got everything right, but here's the overall idea: Haliburton wants to "clean" their public image, and one of their actions will be sponsoring park attractions (Peoplemover in Disneyland will be one). Their Crown Jewel will be the complete revamp of the Universe of Energy. There'll be some major changes ahead, though. Due to Dick Cheney's, ahem, "family issues" with his daughter, Ellen DeGeneres is out, and Tammy Faye Bakker is in. The buildings many mirrors will be scrapped, since we don't want to have the idea that solar energy is good for you - it actually causes sunburn, for Christ's sake! So, the building will be remodeled into a giant oil well, complete with working erupting oil on top. The surrounding area will be landscaped into a desert area similar to Iraq. For added effect, guests will be ushered into the attraction by heavily armed GI's, while animatronic freedom fighters will shoot compressed air at them. If a guest manages to spot Osama Bin Laden, he'll win 1 galloon of gas at the petrol station of his choice.
Once inside, Tammy Faye Bakker will give a speech on family values, morals, and the importance of traveling by car everywhere, preferably on a Viper V-10. The show vehicles, long the centerpiece of the attraction, will be gas powered. Exhaust fumes will be routed toward the passengers, since customer research has shown city dwellers usually miss that smell, and will react positively to it. The show area will depict Haliburton's fight for liberty, complete with the vital importance of paying $3 per galloon if we have to. An uplifting segment will show Dick Cheney dancing a Can-Can, while cash falls from the sky, then suddenly being rushed to the hospital for an alleged heart attack. The rousing finale will happen inside a section of the building that will be built inside of the main one, completely flooded, with a 1/3rd scale aircraft carrier, half of the dolls from "It's a Small World" singing a variant of their song called "Mission Accomplished", while a George W. Bush animatronic smirks.
I can't believe they'll go ahead with this one!