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  1. #1

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    Thumbs up FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    A friend of mine works in the energy industry, and he overheard a conversation between top tier directors about their new deal to upgrade the Universe of Energy!

    I don't think I got everything right, but here's the overall idea: Haliburton wants to "clean" their public image, and one of their actions will be sponsoring park attractions (Peoplemover in Disneyland will be one). Their Crown Jewel will be the complete revamp of the Universe of Energy. There'll be some major changes ahead, though. Due to Dick Cheney's, ahem, "family issues" with his daughter, Ellen DeGeneres is out, and Tammy Faye Bakker is in. The buildings many mirrors will be scrapped, since we don't want to have the idea that solar energy is good for you - it actually causes sunburn, for Christ's sake! So, the building will be remodeled into a giant oil well, complete with working erupting oil on top. The surrounding area will be landscaped into a desert area similar to Iraq. For added effect, guests will be ushered into the attraction by heavily armed GI's, while animatronic freedom fighters will shoot compressed air at them. If a guest manages to spot Osama Bin Laden, he'll win 1 galloon of gas at the petrol station of his choice.

    Once inside, Tammy Faye Bakker will give a speech on family values, morals, and the importance of traveling by car everywhere, preferably on a Viper V-10. The show vehicles, long the centerpiece of the attraction, will be gas powered. Exhaust fumes will be routed toward the passengers, since customer research has shown city dwellers usually miss that smell, and will react positively to it. The show area will depict Haliburton's fight for liberty, complete with the vital importance of paying $3 per galloon if we have to. An uplifting segment will show Dick Cheney dancing a Can-Can, while cash falls from the sky, then suddenly being rushed to the hospital for an alleged heart attack. The rousing finale will happen inside a section of the building that will be built inside of the main one, completely flooded, with a 1/3rd scale aircraft carrier, half of the dolls from "It's a Small World" singing a variant of their song called "Mission Accomplished", while a George W. Bush animatronic smirks.

    I can't believe they'll go ahead with this one!

  2. #2

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    LOL Very funny.

  3. #3

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Boy I wished I was only paying $3 a gallon

  4. #4

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Thank you carrottop, err, fjhuerta. You know what from now on, I'm only getting my news from you, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report! Thank god you were here to tell us abut this breaking "news"!
    - Horizonsfan

  5. #5

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Quote Originally Posted by horizonsfan92
    Thank you carrottop, err, fjhuerta. You know what from now on, I'm only getting my news from you, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report! Thank god you were here to tell us abut this breaking "news"!
    I swear it's true!

  6. #6

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Well, if it is true then some disney exec.'s better watch themselves. I can imagine some disney fanatics hiring hitmen they would be so outraged. Me personally, I would never go to UOE ever again.

    (Jesus help me! I'm actually playing up and thinking about all this hypothetical, fictional bull$h!t)
    - Horizonsfan

  7. #7

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Quote Originally Posted by horizonsfan92
    Well, if it is true then some disney exec.'s better watch themselves. I can imagine some disney fanatics hiring hitmen they would be so outraged. Me personally, I would never go to UOE ever again.

    (Jesus help me! I'm actually playing up and thinking about all this hypothetical, fictional bull$h!t)
    Did I forget to mention Rush Limbaugh will do a cameo? (think "Hidden Mickey").

  8. #8

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Thank god! I was just thinking that thing wouldn't be conservative enough! God help us if there was any little shimmer of the left wing.




    (that was sarcasim for those of you a little slow on the uptake)
    - Horizonsfan

  9. #9

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Quote Originally Posted by horizonsfan92
    Thank god! I was just thinking that thing wouldn't be conservative enough! God help us if there was any little shimmer of the left wing.




    (that was sarcasim for those of you a little slow on the uptake)
    Hey, the main theme of the pavillion is conservation of our energy resources! It can't be conservative enough!

  10. #10

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Yes, WDW will be conservative with their money. Maybe they'll have a post show on how if you only recieve C's in school, you too can be president of the good old U.S. of A.! (sorry, all this is was driving me to insert an "I hate bush sentence.")
    - Horizonsfan

  11. #11

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Hmm. Am I the only one that didn't really find that funny? I mean talk about jokes that have all been done before.

  12. #12

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Quote Originally Posted by fjhuerta
    A friend of mine works in the energy industry, and he overheard a conversation between top tier directors about their new deal to upgrade the Universe of Energy!

    I don't think I got everything right, but here's the overall idea: Haliburton wants to "clean" their public image, and one of their actions will be sponsoring park attractions (Peoplemover in Disneyland will be one). Their Crown Jewel will be the complete revamp of the Universe of Energy. There'll be some major changes ahead, though. Due to Dick Cheney's, ahem, "family issues" with his daughter, Ellen DeGeneres is out, and Tammy Faye Bakker is in. The buildings many mirrors will be scrapped, since we don't want to have the idea that solar energy is good for you - it actually causes sunburn, for Christ's sake! So, the building will be remodeled into a giant oil well, complete with working erupting oil on top. The surrounding area will be landscaped into a desert area similar to Iraq. For added effect, guests will be ushered into the attraction by heavily armed GI's, while animatronic freedom fighters will shoot compressed air at them. If a guest manages to spot Osama Bin Laden, he'll win 1 galloon of gas at the petrol station of his choice.

    Once inside, Tammy Faye Bakker will give a speech on family values, morals, and the importance of traveling by car everywhere, preferably on a Viper V-10. The show vehicles, long the centerpiece of the attraction, will be gas powered. Exhaust fumes will be routed toward the passengers, since customer research has shown city dwellers usually miss that smell, and will react positively to it. The show area will depict Haliburton's fight for liberty, complete with the vital importance of paying $3 per galloon if we have to. An uplifting segment will show Dick Cheney dancing a Can-Can, while cash falls from the sky, then suddenly being rushed to the hospital for an alleged heart attack. The rousing finale will happen inside a section of the building that will be built inside of the main one, completely flooded, with a 1/3rd scale aircraft carrier, half of the dolls from "It's a Small World" singing a variant of their song called "Mission Accomplished", while a George W. Bush animatronic smirks.

    I can't believe they'll go ahead with this one!
    Wait, I kind of don't get it, in any way. Not that I never pay attention to the world, or news, but it's a joke right...

    But things I don't get...
    Is Haliburton like Exxon?
    What issue does Dick Cheney have with his daughter?
    Why would they take Ellen DeGeneres and replace her with a hideous looking, but kind hearted former guest of The Surreal Life?
    Won't people on both sides of the spectrum, see the armed soldiers as innapproriate?
    And $3 gas would be a bargain to some Europeans as they pay 5, 6, or up to 10 dollars.

  13. #13

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Quote Originally Posted by tloolgb
    Hmm. Am I the only one that didn't really find that funny? I mean talk about jokes that have all been done before.
    I thought the "It's a small world" doll thingie was an original idea. Talk about a though crowd! OK, let's start from the beginning... watch this drive! (oops, wrong again).

  14. #14

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Quote Originally Posted by pancakesaregood
    But things I don't get...
    Is Haliburton like Exxon?
    What issue does Dick Cheney have with his daughter?
    Why would they take Ellen DeGeneres and replace her with a hideous looking, but kind hearted former guest of The Surreal Life?
    Won't people on both sides of the spectrum, see the armed soldiers as innapproriate?
    And $3 gas would be a bargain to some Europeans as they pay 5, 6, or up to 10 dollars.
    You're kidding, right? If you aren't it isn't any big deal but, it's slightly surprising!
    - Horizonsfan

  15. #15

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    Re: FINALLY - Some info on the Universe of Energy refurb!

    Quote Originally Posted by fjhuerta
    I thought the "It's a small world" doll thingie was an original idea.
    Mmm, okay. I'll give you that one.

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