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  1. #1

    • white and nerdy
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    Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    First of all let me state that I didn’t have any fun at all. That wasn’t the point of this trip. The point of this trip was to see how well Disney World was doing. I love Disney World, but when you love something you have to point out everything wrong with it… Like I do with my wife who is, by the way, starting to put on a few pounds.
    We stayed off-property at a woefully unworthy hotel. Of course they sold Disney Tickets and had a special Disney World TV channel on their undersized TV, which practically means they are Disney World. If Disney doesn’t do more to control the businesses in and around the Orlando area, then I might have to start staying at competing town’s hotels. Like Atlanta.
    The Magic Kingdom, or should I say Un-magic kingdom is in a woeful state.
    Big Thunder Mountain is a mess of themes that don’t mesh. What are the mud-pots and geysers of Yellowstone doing anywhere near the sandstone formations of Bryce Canyon? And there is supposed to be gold somewhere around there?
    Splash Mountain is unforgivable in its current state. Yes, the animatronics were all working, but were they working enough? The answer is an obvious no.
    All of Fantasyland is a disgrace. What are we telling children (who shouldn’t be there anyway)? That their dreams and stories are only a fantasy? And if it is Fantasyland, where are the fantasy elements? Where are the hobbits, Dragons, and Trolls?
    The Foodstands all give the same boring food. When I was a kid we used to get space themed chicken rockets and moon burgers, now it’s just chicken strips and hamburgers. That’s a fact.

    Disney-MGM studios is a joke and has been a joke from the beginning. They honestly need to bulldoze the place down and start fresh with, perhaps, a classic Disneyland ride park. Bear in the big blue house? Please. And the blemish of the muppets is forever going to taint the land round about.
    Aerosmith has nothing to do with Disney. Why can’t we let some of Disney’s musicians provide music for the roller coaster?
    The Tower of Terror is trying hard to make people like it by giving four supposedly unique drop sequences. But I’m so distracted that I just got off of the Rockin’ Roller coaster that I can’t imagine myself in the world of the Tower of Terror.

    Epcot… poor misguided Epcot. People don’t want these “hip” “popular” rides like Test Track or Soarin. They want education like Epcot was supposed to, but leave it to Disney to break Walt’s dream like so many children’s futures.
    Mission Space should be torn down. I’ve never even rode it and I know it is a disaster. The break in themeing around the world showcase is awful. I can clearly see Mexico from England and I can’t do that in real life. And the generic “Look at what’s available in my country” merchandise is a sad counterfeit to what was available when I was a kid.

    Disney’s half-day Kingdom of animals isn’t even worth the half day. The supposed themeing of Africa is just an excuse to use worn down buildings and spotty construction.
    Expedition Everest? More like Expedition Yawn. I have the Matterhorn thank you very much. Why does a park that pretends to be worried about animals sell meat?
    Dinosaur? That’s exactly the same as Indana Jones. Same vehicles, same track layout, same animatronics, same everything. If you look close you can tell the “saropod” is really the Snake.

    I’m sorry I can’t give a good report from my QA trip to Disney World, but I have some suggestions that I know will eventually be implemented. We all know Disney gets their ideas from us (me specifically)

    • Use more of my ideas.
    • present reality in a fantastic way
    • Tear down the four parks and start from scratch

    There you have it. The complete untarnished truth. If you don’t agree with me then you are obviously in the Evil Empire known as Disney management.
    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert





  2. #2

    • Shubisha
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    I stopped reading your post when your first complaint was based on assuming wdw's thunder mountain is based on bryce canyon.

  3. #3

    • white and nerdy
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Oh, I have more complaints than that.


    go on, read the rest.
    St. Elizabeth, Patron Saint of Themed parks. Protect us from break downs, long lines, and used gum. Amen.

    "Dance like it hurts, love like you need money, and work when people are watching" - Dogbert





  4. #4

    • One big touch screen.....
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Quote Originally Posted by thejoshualee View Post
    Yes, the animatronics were all working, but were they working enough?

  5. #5

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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Quote Originally Posted by thejoshualee View Post
    Like I do with my wife who is, by the way, starting to put on a few pounds.
    .
    OMG- you gotta be joking, or your wife isn't on micechat!





    It's kind of fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

  6. #6

    • Happy Memories
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Most amusing TR ever... this week anyway.




  7. #7

    • MiceChat Moderator
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    And TGel is back in full swing.

    Peace my friend!
    Roo
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  8. #8

    • Minion
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    haha Nice report

  9. #9

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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Josh, I see some who are very unhappy with WDW and some who have nothing but nice things to say about that park. You obviously were not happy with it. I love your honesty, but I do hope you are not this harsh with your wifes weight gain
    Last edited by Hakuna Makarla; 08-23-2007 at 05:17 AM.

  10. #10

    • Why can't you tune a fish
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Thanks, sometimes I do need a dose of sarcasam to pull me back from the brink of becomming an uber-complainer.

    -dave
    "I'm gonna build my own amusement park. But with gambling and hookers!" - Bender
    "You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity." - Bullet Tooth Tony

  11. #11

    • Still wants to be a cat!
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    We've missed you....glad you are back in full force!
    Mom, remember, it's not what a person is like on the outside that counts,
    it's what they are like in their HEART!


    - Wolfette

  12. #12

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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    See Josh...its been so loooong since we've seen a lot of quality work from you... almost everyone has forgotten about your sardonically cynical wit!!!!




    Help me get more security in Pingvinivlle! Click here!


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    all you need to know about the mommy stick is.. out of all the bad things that could happen to you... it's right between wetting yourself and death.

  13. #13

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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Florida loves you too.


  14. #14

    • back to WDW in January
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad



    your candor is frightening, amusing, unnerving and yet at the same time, oddly refreshing

  15. #15

    • I'll Break your Thumbs!!
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    Re: Thejoshualee's Trip report volume I: The bad

    Thats the funniest joke tr I ever read... I cant wait for your REAL tr.

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